All Comments on 'Daddy Should Knock'

Keep the story going. You have a lot of possibilities with this story, so keep on writing.

You lost me as a reader when you included me as part of the story!!! Can't you make-up some fictitious people to be the characters?!?!

Short, sweet, to the point.

Very hot.

And I agree, there are possibilities here.

Pretty enjoyable,you need to work on using contractions though so it reads naturally. :)

Grammatical errors ruin this story before it even gets decent. Learn to edit, proof read, and try writing when you've gotten out of 5th grade. Poor excuse for writing. Be ashamed.