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Be careful in your descriptions; you have to clarify the scenes a bit more. I had to reread the scene where he comes up behind her three times before I got it completely.
Minor tweaks and it will be a hundred percent better. With that said, I am enjoying the series thus far and am looking forward to the next chapter :)
I'm like the story line so far! I do agree with the previous commenter... a little more detail would be very helpful. You have to remember, we're not in your head and we need a vivid description so we see what you see. Also, you may want to find an editor.... there are a few errors in grammar and punctuation. Not too bad, but if it were cleaned up a little it would make it SO much more powerful and easy to read.
You have drawn us in with your story line and the wonderful characters... just tighten up these other little aspects and you will surely blow us away!!! Can't wait for the next chapter.... POST MORE SOON, PLEASE :-)
Supposed to say.... I'm LIKING your story line! Sorry :-)
Hoping to read more
I hope u continue this story I have enjoyed it so far I am wondering what is coming next! Keep up the good work !
Cora seems very naive, she know him for what 2 days and he gropes her? She says nothing other than to look at him all starry eyed?
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