All Comments on 'Friend's Sister is Hypnotized'

In the middle of the story you change the girl's name from Gail to Gloria. Please try to be consistent. Resubmit the story. You only get a 2 because the mistake makes the story unsexy. Otherwise it would be a 5!

I loved your story but I did end up somewhat confused at the end of the story when you switched the girls name. LOL But keep up the great Work.

Hey, I didn't mind the name change; I'd like to see these characters again. I do think it would be worth a bit of extra effort to fix all the little things, like story continuity. I'll be happy to do that for you if you will write a new one with Gloria et.al.

It was really sexy until Gail became Gloria it threw things off kilter.

Good story (aside from the name change; better editing next time!), but it all seemed way too easy for the protagonest, and his feelings didn't seem to enter into the tale.

the name change is a real turn-off. if it were two girls it would be ok, but it was only one girl so why the name change??

I won't be as harsh as some, the story was well structured and interesting, sad about the name change as poor Gail misses out!

I didn't even notice the name change. This must mean the story wasn't gripping enough, but why? Probably because the main character was flat. Someone suggested adding more feelings and I agree. Well done, a nice short story better than most.

Yeah...penis so big a woman's hand can't fit around it? In a plastic surgeon's dreams! Either that girl was deformed or the guy was. Fucking disgusting mental image either way. Thanks for that, jackass.

Would have been much better if Gail's name hadn't changed to Gloria at some random point on page 2.

The name of one of the characters changes from gail to gloria part way through. Very disappointing inconsistancy. Otherwise nice work.

I didn't even notice the name change. It's a good story, stop complaining.

Which is fine, but he turned his so-called friend into a puppet and just started enslaving people right and left. If you're going to have a morally neutral or bad protagonist, at least stop pretending he's a good guy. There's no need to try and fool the reader. Actions speak for themselves.

You switched names right at the end from Gail to Gloria, and totally ruined the feel of the story. Please get an editor next time.

I don't understand why you had to fuck Gail, when Melissa was ready to serve you anytime, anyway you wanted it. You should have remained a friend to Jerry. Plus switching names at the end did kinda ruin it. Can't give you a 5 on this one, but I do enjoy your stories.

First page girls friend was Gail second page changed to Gloria good story but confusing changing names

yes good story,but I need someone to use hypnosis on my wife !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Liked the story, but near the end, GAIL somehow has a name change? She becomes Gloria? Needs to edit that a bit...

great story, Gail name change was a little confusing but apart from that its a good read.

thank you masterhypnotis

Shit.... pathetic ass cuck.

name change towards end revealed a cut and paste from another story

Great story, however on page 2 you changed the name of Melissa's friend Gail to Gloria.

Way to change Gail's name to Gloria...

Gail or Gloia?

Why screw up the story by changing the name?? Do you even proof read your stories?? If you want 5s you will have to work for them!!

Who is Gloria? Looks like you changed Gail’s name to Gloria in this chapter.

Yep, the name was changed and never caught. Wrong name was used to the end. Need to stop self-proof-reading.

Great story very erotic. Live with the name change. Gail became Glorious!

Old but ok. Rewrite and edit it.