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Decent start
Good writing so far. You may have too many supporting characters. Chapter 1 seemed to end too soon. Please make chapter 2 longer/ develop the story further.
good start
but you made the main character only 15...im not entirely sure but i dont think underage sex is "allowed" on the site...maybe fast forward 3 years to the age of 18 before you make anything happen? or maybe nobody cares either way! but definitely keep writing :)
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