Album 5 – Graduation

do i say congratulations? :)

i think you're close with your line endings. i might play with them a little and see if i could make more impact. ie thinking out loud, if the word 'Below' was the end of the line above, would that improve the poem?

love the image of the hats in the air, momentarily pausing and looking like birds on a wire. :)

Tess

I have to look at this as an experiment of matching the language to the time, the age. There is very nicely done. "I liked the birds on a wire" leaving for a better perch. "winds of change." even billowing up your gown, just becomes to to. A5