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English
Good read so far!
Really like this story for first two chapters, and am looking forward to more. Please continue to write as I am enjoying your efforts.
Once again, I like it
It's a good story and I hope you will continue to write it.
This is a fantastic story, love where it is going, cant wait for more!
Not Bad, Too Much Tell
As stated above, too much tell and not enough show. More dialogue would help.
Good direction
Like where you are going, I know how hard the next chapters are but keep going with this theme. Thanks
LOL
The inner voice reminds me of the guy from Zombieland...
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