- All
Comments (2) - Add a
Comment
| Literotica Toy Store ADULT TOY & DVD STORE FAST & DISCREET |
Literotica XXX Webcams 24/7 LIVE CAMS - FREE PREVIEW W/AUDIO! |
Literotica Adult Movies STREAMING ADULT MOVIES PAY PER MINUTE |
| Literotica Toy Store ADULT TOY & DVD STORE FAST & DISCREET |
Literotica XXX Webcams 24/7 LIVE CAMS - FREE PREVIEW W/AUDIO! |
Literotica Adult Movies STREAMING ADULT MOVIES PAY PER MINUTE |
English
Whoa
2nd line
spring in her sister city Albuquerque.
wha?
some good ideas here, need of a little organization
I didn't vote, 'cause I don't want to go into details, 'cause it's Easter, 'cause I'm thinking about ham, don't want to think about your ass,
which really isn't a bad line, on it's own and in context.
well now
this one reminds me of your Sasebo poem somewhat. I always loved your poems about Japan. I am with 1201 ( sort of) on this, it needs a bit of reorganization and the line about brown bagging the beers, I would lose the "us" there, it helps with the meter.
I did vote, gave it a 5 of course because your poem in need of tweaking is better than a lot of stuff here that is finished. But it's like that anywhere and I am not slamming anyone else's poetry, just you have a huge head start, dontcha sweetie.
I am so glad you're here again. I don't have access to a computer when I am out of town, but will get to yours I miss because I faved you on my list. I found that toe poem I wrote for you years ago. Damn, you sure bring back good memories of this place. :)
hugs,
~ maria
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Spring (c. years ago) or
More submissions by Neonurotic.