by sultrysiren4000
Sultry
I like the character and the way you do sex. Very erotic. I should read some more of your work. If this is a sample you must be very good.
Kevin
A good choice of title to hook the reader. Very solid writing. Great internal monologue, the sex scene was very well written. Strong characterisation and a simple plot set-up makes this a fast paced story. One small error easily fixed; Impale. You don't impale something into something; 'and let him impale his cock into my mouth'
you impale on. It is the act of piercing one object on another. I suggest you replace 'impale' with 'thrust' or something else.
Look forward to chapter 2.
I have just read all of your works and was totally spellbound by all. As a woman you write with so much emotion and as a man I was so able to visualise all of it.
One of the best that I have found on here. One wonders where you get your inspiration from?
Please stay inspired and let us keep on visualising.
Thankyou