You really should get an editor. You have a good start of a story but it has a lot of little errors like an extra letter on a word, probably a typo. But there are also alot of larger mistakes. I really think it would improve your work to have an editor help you correct that as well as help you develop the story a bit more. I felt like there was so much build up to this sex he wa wanting all week and then you didn't actually have us there for more than a blow job. You didn't let us enjoy them finally having sex. It left the story feeling like the climax was missing (pun intended).
English
You really should get an editor. You have a good start of a story but it has a lot of little errors like an extra letter on a word, probably a typo. But there are also alot of larger mistakes. I really think it would improve your work to have an editor help you correct that as well as help you develop the story a bit more. I felt like there was so much build up to this sex he wa wanting all week and then you didn't actually have us there for more than a blow job. You didn't let us enjoy them finally having sex. It left the story feeling like the climax was missing (pun intended).
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