Saving Little Sister

Get an editor

This was not a bad story; the sex developed too fast, but it wasn't bad. However, the misspellings and other errors were distracting. Here's an example: "I started to dry hump myself into her ass track, by cock almost coming out of the gap in the crotch of my soaked boxer briefs." Ass Track? By cock? Also, you started telling the story in first person, then you went to third person, then back to first person. This is why you need an editor. It was okay but it could have been better.

For a first try ?

If that was a first try, it wasn't bad.

I preferred that you got quickly into it, but jumping between first and third person was a careless mistake.

You also overused the same words; to many "cocks" when you didn't need to identify it and, if you did, could have used a different noun.

1st to 3rd to 1st??!

Right after their first encounter in the bathroom, you switched to 3rd person just briefly when he went into his room to whack off. That kind of threw me off. With that part aside, this is turning into a good story, one that needs multiple parts :)

Anatomy.

You need to learn some. If he's doing her doggie, there's no way his balls can be bouncing off her arse. It don't work that way.

lol

Pretty good but at times your calling him he and other times it's I you need to pick one and stay with it. Alot more 4 play would improve it also but was fun fuckin sis by the creek awesome

Grammar needs to be fixed. I'd be glad to edit for you if you would like. You write well, but your spell checker puts in the wrong word (buddy s/b body).
Your style is excellent. I wish I could do that half well in my own poor attempts. Still, that said, you're near a 5-star rating. Keep going!

I liked it as well

Your haters are your motivators just keep doing it and you'll get better;)

Some things never change...

Ever notice how people who just rip you never post their name? I think there's a lot of school teachers who get all hung up on crossing "T's" and dotting "I's" They can't appreciate the guts of the story because they're too busy looking for a typo.

forget the quibbling nay-sayers, this is an excellent story of...

hot sisterhumping. Big Ben did a great job on his kid sister's cute little twat. Up between his sister's legs is where the great big doses of creamy semen in a brother's balls belong.

not bad

not bad at all

TOO FUNNY

big bro worried turned out to be justified! little sis became a fucking skank that would take ANY dick including her bro. one time in early fall with tommy??? Yeah right, I have a bridge in Brooklyn for sale dirt cheap...LOL!