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Poetic World

byfridayam©
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by Anonymous

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by bulltlr05/17/11

5

Interesting! This reminds me of our first encounter....

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by twelveoone05/17/11

In

L10? "machines make misery" you hit a stride with alliteration. L1-L4 seem pointless and trite to me, somewhere between L4 and L10 is where it looks like it should start. A5

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by WillowedCabin05/18/11

I enjoyed

the last four lines. Also,
"The Sun burns and unveils,
the Moon is many-faced, mellifluous,"
great, I really like that... then
"the stars are a backdrop to dreams,
the Universe a vague, unspecified presence."
I think that's hackneyed.
I'm also not sure why the first four lines are there... but again, this is just my opinion.

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by UnderYourSpell05/20/11

~

Poetry to commit suicide to?!!

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