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Well done
I like it. You did not need to have him go out with the one from the bar. I don't think it added anything. In fact it made Joey less likeable.
great story
keep it up! i find myself looking up to see if youve posted something as soon as i log on...
DG Hear
I tried to put myself in Joey's shoes. What might a young man do when he thinks he might have lost his first real love? It's a very hard question to answer. Joey's a good guy but far from infallible. Thank you for staying with me. Last chapter has been submitted. Hopefully out tomorrow.
With Respect
DG
DG
I have to disagree with PT. If anything, you have made it very clear throughout the story, that if Joey were in a committed relationship, he would never cheat. Having failed to understand Ariel's meeting with her brother and thinking any chances of a romance with her were impossible, it was normal for him to revert to his "single" days and find solace in an older woman's arms.
Great Story
DG-- Another great story. I find Joey a l little dense, naive, unsophisticated -- but that's the way you want to depict him. Whether or not his lack of formal education and sophistication will bode well in a relationship with Ariel is THE question. Thanks to Mary, he's well-versed in the sex department, but Ariel, after all, works in an environment loaded with college grads, medical doctors, etc. that are sure to pose some risk to her fidelity to a store manager. Can't wait.
Good read
Like others have said, joey was written just a little too awkwardly for me, but then again thinking back on my callow youth, maybe you got it pretty much right? Your stories are enjoyable and usually filled with likeable people, just like most of the people you find in life.
So Beautiful!
This is a lovely story. It gives me a really good feeling. Thank you!
What a great story
This is a classic, just terriffic! I love your writing and your style. Thanks for sharing.
I love this story
Until this one my favorite DG story was what now but this is my new favorite. Great job!
Great Story!!!!
Even had a happy ending. Thanks.
Thanks:
Sorry this story is coming to an end. Like it much.
Looking forward to more of the same from this great author.
Tom: AKA Vietvet
Fine Story
Five... But I will quibble that the introductory blurb left
me with the impression that Ariel would be a doubtful quantity at the end of this chapter. So the sudden visit and her getting over her anger caught me off base!
DG, The Old Master
You can tell a story with the best of them. Joey is believable, an ordinary guy. I hope Ariel realizes what a good man she got, one who'll stand by her and work for her his whole life.
However, we members of the Union of Concerned Quibblers take our duties seriously, and therefore quibbles follow via "Send Feedback."
Soooo good!
A really really great story. Thanks!!!
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