You need to work on style and construction. An entire piece in one sentence "paragraphs". Too choppy to easily read, certainly difficult to enjoy.
by
Anonymous05/20/11
That's good Hamster
coming from a guy with one story on Lit. that contains perhaps the funniest line in porn: I pushed my fingers into her rubbery asshole... mwahahahahaha are you Chinese or something more sinister?
And why Hamster, have you turned off your feedback? Can dish it out but not take it I presume...
by
Anonymous10/20/11
Your choice of words are hilarious. Moist petals? Steaming cave? LMAO. Shitting out the dredges of a thesaurus is a total turn off.
Despite the occasional laugh at your ridiculous choice of words, overall pretty dull plot.
You also overuse the word "Supple".
by
Anonymous03/28/12
LOL
"as she pushed her slender finger into her slippery ass the whole world exploded."
English
Dry opinion
Not much of a plot.
Not So Much
You need to work on style and construction. An entire piece in one sentence "paragraphs". Too choppy to easily read, certainly difficult to enjoy.
That's good Hamster
coming from a guy with one story on Lit. that contains perhaps the funniest line in porn: I pushed my fingers into her rubbery asshole... mwahahahahaha are you Chinese or something more sinister?
And why Hamster, have you turned off your feedback? Can dish it out but not take it I presume...
Your choice of words are hilarious. Moist petals? Steaming cave? LMAO. Shitting out the dredges of a thesaurus is a total turn off.
Despite the occasional laugh at your ridiculous choice of words, overall pretty dull plot.
You also overuse the word "Supple".
LOL
"as she pushed her slender finger into her slippery ass the whole world exploded."
Hahahah very funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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