Battle for Blood

finish it please

it can't be just this maybe he turns her even in his weak state he can always feed on those left unless they were poisoned as well by her last weapon.

Nicely Done!

You seem comfortable outside the box, keep going. More....please

i hope she will survive...

Awesome!

What a cliff-hanger to end it on! This was great, can't wait for the next chapter it promises to be very interesting. :)

Intersting

This is just the start of something more is it not? I hope so, as this setting can become quite a story.

Overall it is pretty good, your style is easily readable and apart from that I don't have much I can say, except that I would add more description. Off her, the pit the surrounding forest, the wolves, the fight etc. Fill it out a bit more so that it doesn't appear to be so hurried. But that is a minor thing.

Hoping for more soon.

A great story and very well told.

a short short is very hard to do. This one is very good 5 stars for certain. Whether it is done now or perhaps only a beginning, you are a great story teller.

Get your teeth into this story

A first rate story, very well written.

Just one typo:
The adrenalin of the battle and the case (chase)

I loved it from the gripping title to the bitter last words.
Recommended.

i like this

this could turn into a series easily. I hope you write more. As one person suggested, a bit more description would be great, but I do like it the way it is also. I would love to know why he was imprisoned, who sent her, etc - so a series would be great. Please continue.

Good

really good for your first story. I like the fact that it is a great stand alone piece or if you wish to continue the story you can. If you decide to write something alittle longer, you might be more descriptive. What did the forest look like, how big was the cave, those kinds of things. Again I think you did a great job and look forward to reading more from you in the future.

Good start

Well done for your 1st story.
I hope that this is only chapter 1 otherwise the end would be a little depressing.
I look forward to more.
Thanks

great action scenes

Your action scenes are very fluid and make sense... they don't leave me scratching my head wondering what's going on or how a character did something that seems impossible. Love it.

The impression that the heroine has superhuman abilities trailed off as soon as she met the narrator; would love some sort of hint about that in the final scene.

Looking forward to more!

Great Short or Fantastic Beginning

I think you have the makings of a fantastic story. I look forward to more of Battle for Blood. It's a promising piece of work.

Awesome beginning

can't wait for more.

5. stars

Brilliant,the story line is fantastic.

Very nice!

Needs a little editing, spell check, but story line is excellent! Looking forward to reading the rest of them.

WOW!

This is good! The imagery is fantastic. Don't fret about the spelling errors too much, not like you used Spanish instead of English.

BRAVO!