homeRomanceReading the DefensePublic Comments

All Comments  for

Reading the Defense

byILmonamour©
All
Comments (9)
by Anonymous

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous05/31/11

interesting

so this will be a series like that was short - great start though!

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Kamattlock05/31/11

Good Start

That was a good start nice character development but a tad bit short can't wait to read what happens next.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by estragon05/31/11

IL, Great Start!

Don't lose the momentum. A good, real sports story is always a winner in my book. Great debut. If you keep this up, you'll join the ranks of MugsyB and, if you say your prayers and eat your Wheaties, SA Penn Lady the Hockey Goddess.

Now your technicals need work. You can write, no question; you can tell the story hot and sweet. But I'm sending you quibbles, purely technical ones, because technicals can put off the reader. Offside and delay-of-game penalties kill coaches. They shouldn't happen, but a few always do, so keeping them to the barest minimum is every coach's dream. Same with technicals.

Quibbles follow via "Send Feedback." Great start!

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Phxray5405/31/11

Many thanks

I can hear the El clicking in the background. Once cracked a windshield on an outer drive pothole, standard winter driving.

Thank you for your spectacular contribution. We look forward to rest of your story. Take your time, set your own pace, work your own chapters and in sizes that you are comfortable with, we will gladly wait for your caliber of story.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by cantfightfate06/04/11

Good start.

I am not into sports at all but I love the hockey stories Mugsy and PennLady write. So maybe I'll love a football story just as much? I'll definitely be reading the next chapter.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous06/09/11

It Is

an excellent start, and already has its hooks in a number of us. You have my private contact with my Hinsdale interest, as well as Clarendon Hills (her elemenmtary school).

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Anonymous06/18/12

this is the first chapter

Love the story so far and can't wait to read more of it. Please put out more soon.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by renaissancequeen06/27/12

a new favorite

and worthy of a 5!

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.
by Privates1stClass08/10/14

A good start

Looking forward to where the next chapter leads. I think it will be getting hotter.

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.

Click here to leave your own comment on this submission!  or
Back to Reading the Defense  or
More submissions by ILmonamour.

Add a
Comment

Post a public comment on this submission (click here to send private anonymous feedback to the author instead).

Post comment as (click to select):

You may also listen to a recording of the characters.

Preview comment

Forgot your password?

Please wait

Change picture

Your current user avatar, all sizes:

Default size User Picture  Medium size User Picture  Small size User Picture  Tiny size User Picture

You have a new user avatar waiting for moderation.

Select new user avatar:

   Cancel