The Temptress

OK Corpse_rider

I've noticed comments, I see an major effort at organization. New writer 5. Some questions to inflict on yourself. You have a rhyme scheme. maintained except for... why, tricky, two questions here.
You tell a story, of she and he, consider the impact if they had names. Writing is a bitch. Reading is also. "greenmountaineer" go read a few of his.

MIS-TITLED

Should be called the "DESPICABLE TEMPTER"

Wow...

I loved the flow and carefully chosen words; but I especially loved the clergy twist at the end. Upon second reading I picked up on all the subtle hints. This is definitely worthy of a 5!

You, sir, are a POET!!!

Post-coital depression hits !!!

& it hits hard ; unloaded of the biological need to seed ; self-loathing , in French "le petit mort" or the little Death , guilt , anti-climax or what-have-you hits the male in the solar plexus !!! ergo he spouts religious scripture to insult the poor girl !! this scenario has repeated itself throughout centuries throughoutthe world where rich , powerful famous males or females have first preyed on the weaker partner or some minor who is in their fidicuary power & later abused them , their rights !! landlords , moneylenders , dictators , presidents , prime ministers , cardinals , rabbis , Brahmins , Ayatollahs ,filmstars , athletes , movie producers all have sexploited !!!
in Hollywood i believe it's called the casting couch !

so good ,yet so typical of the male sex that has no inner strength!