Grad School Mixer

I was

going to suggest canning the first stanza. Canning all suggestions.
O the inanity
of insanity
This is freakin' fun!
I left a score of 5, even though tempted to cheat.

what he said

just weird stuff! Fun.

~

Us gals who wear glasses also get passes :)

1201

..is right. Good clean fun hoping to get messed up. I question some of the rational in the imagery but who am I? Very enjoyable.

I loved

the first three stanzas; the rest of it was a bit frayed at the seams. You have a really fun voice in your work.

This is the best of your 3 today, You share a characteristic with bogus. Like him there are elements that one could pick on and quibble about but I end up thinking WTF. V.

it don't wear thin

It's like you take one idea and relentlessly underline it.. Over and over and over with the most incongruent barrage of images left right and center and..

the paper never wears thin lol

Works great for me. Loved all three pieces you have just posted.

with this all the way

till the final lines. they seemed superfluous, the write ending more naturally (for me) back at 'just get in my way'. trouble is, i also liked the lines directly after that, their imagery, too... i just felt a natural ending to that piece where i pointed out. perhaps it's because it leaves on a more hopeful note than the negativity that follows, making it even more dynamic a write.

perhaps

this could even lose 'open and give me a taste'?

C'mon . . . .

I'm a dirty snowball hurtling towards your mouth
Even if it takes seventy years
To make an impact
And all you gotta do is
Turn this way, look in my
Eyes, just
Get in my way.

blitha

blatha, cova me n latha, this is one dumb ass attempt at poetry