by radk
YES !! - loved it - the SOB deserved that.
That's a wicked bad ending :-)
Keep on writing - & thank you.
Gotta tell you I loved it. I could see it coming but that is the way my mind always works. Thanks for a good read.
This story was "interesting" and plausible, but that ending was absolutely awesome. Didn't see that one coming. Nice work! 5-star.
Very good story! Worth the time spent reading it. I can not comment here without revealing ........
The title didn't "hook" me and I dreaded what was to come. It was better than expected, due to your talents. However....afterwards, I thought about the story and concluded I don't really like it. She killed a women in cold blood because she was mad at the two of them over their affair. But that wasn't enough to make her happy...she also most certainly put him in jail for life. Yes, she felt good screwing him...but we know she really is nuts, is a product of her own actions and deserved every shitty minute of her life.
To me, she was gutless...she screwed her life up royally. She obviously married, in her mind, "beneath" herself, and then failed to change her husband's behavior. Clearly he should have dumped her early in the marriage when he learned they weren't on the same sheet of music. He husband was just a plain old Joe who lived life to enjoy it, and married to a witch who was a mental case. He clearly should have dumped her a long time ago.
It was also apparent her daughter's behavior was also a direct result of her mother's behavior and unhappy life...i.e., her mother couldn't handle her own life, hated it and made sure her daughter was equally miserable which one can only conclude drove her daughter to also ruin her life, as well.
So, because the husband didn't dump his wife early, and elected to live in a shitty, loveless marraige he gets to go to jail for life...sorry, just can't enjoy this story and laugh at her action. But hey, it was very good writing!
There are several points at which i dont know if this letter is adressed to the husband or to the wife's lover.... Him, he, you etc have to clearly be associated to a person previously and clearly identified in prior sentences. Otherwise, a nice tale of revenge.
But there were places where it was difficult to figure out what she was talking about and/or who she was talking about. The revenge aspect would probably work.
This little tale has revenge with style. From the grave, his wife is untouchable and he is about to get royally screwed for his cheating. Is it over the top? Yes, absolutely! Was a good read? You bet!
Why is it some "burn the bitch" guys don't appreciate an occassional "burn the bastard" story? Maybe none of the characters had any redeeming qualities, but it is a fricking fantasy. Guys, get a grip will you?
Thank you for sharing your story. Please keep on writing.
waits until she's dead, and no longer needs a ride on the gravy train to do the right thing.
in a way, she's worse than he is
they deserved each other
hopefully they'll be cellmates in hell
I didn't get it in the beginning, which i am grateful for, as I really loved the story even more after I figured out the writing motif. Brilliant tit for tat story with a wonderful rhythm. Perfect for all the clever twists. Thank you Radk, I thoroughly enjoyed your story.
I was a little lost at first. But once she got to her point it was almost funny. How she twisted her love for him into screwing him royally. That is one nasty way to get even. LOL
Well if this isn't a burn the bastard story I don't know what is!! Oh she gets her revenge and there is nothing anyone can do about it.
And yeah her life sounded like a real "gravy train". Personally I liked the twists in the story and just like those who are always calling for the cheat to get theirs in the end I am doing the same!
Well-written from a technical point of view, even better as a story. Sure, the plot requires a big suspension of disbelief, but you made it work. Excellent ending. And kudos to your editor--the technicals are very good.
clearly YOU are in the 2nd group.
For some reason your seem to think that the negative reaction some have to this story is SOLELY because some readers... mostly if not all men-- are sexist.
IT never occurs to you to read the story objectively.
FACT the wife KNOWS her husband cheated.
FACT she did NOTHING about it.. she wimped out
FACT she saw her hsuband KILL another woman and again she did NOTHING about it for YEARS ...
Maybe that other women was a mother? a daughter?
Given the wife's claim that her love for her husband died when she saw them together WHY would she NOT go to the police?
If the author writes his story with the wife "reaching out from the grave" to nail the murdering husband that is all fine and good. But her total lack of ANY action deserve SOME explanation.
Did she confess to her priest that she murdered someone? Why did she go to church if she wasn't a believer? That's like going to McDonalds every day and not eating...a tad ridiculous. What happens when they do an autopsy and discover he didn't kill his lover? And if she hates him so much, why not just divorce him and take him to the cleaners...before she was diagnosed with cancer that is.
You criticize people for not reading or understanding the story? But of course, you didn't read or understand the story if you think that the husband killed the girlfriend. The wife killed the girlfriend and then placed the blame on the husband from her grave.
That is wimping out? She couldn't make the accusation to the police until there was no way for the cops to question her about her story.
The wife got revenge against both her husband and his lover. What could be more appropriate than that? Except of course, that she is a woman. Our misogynist readers have trouble with that fact.
Well, done radk, even if the haters were too stupid to understand your story.
you are just another tea bagger idiot....
(I left that off of my original post)
I don't think any is confused about who was trapped in in the marriage. Poor guy.
Oh, and a stupid story.
...clear up the confusion. Sick, over the top and depressing but different at least.
I like the personal comments of how the writer truly feels toward husband and daughter. Gives it a more human touch. The twist at the end is righteous. She does ramble a little more than necessary between paragraphs of her letter. It still works. Gave me a chuckle. Nice job.
She can send all the letters to the police she wants but I don't think they would have any chance of a conviction. Also I bet he's glad she's dead she sounds like a real piece of crap and at least she would have died in agony.
and one that got a scot-free payback up front. TK U MLJ LV NV
I do believe in reconciliation if possible. But, I can also empathize with people when they are cuckolded, male or female (is there a female term?). When your partner cheats on you, your trusted partner, the one who holds the key to your soul, it can cause you to have a kind of disconnect from reality. Sort of like in Nuclear Response, the revenge far outweighs the actual crime.
The protagonist led you to believe her life with her husband was a series of let downs, disappointments. But I would surmise that if he hadn't cheated she would have portrayed him far more favourably.
That's exactly what the police will ask themselves when they see this hack of a letter. Sure they'll press charges, and sure, the D.A. will prosecute, but with the rest of the letter she casts a reasonable doubt on whether he did the murder, or she did.
All the husband needs is reasonable doubt, and he's acquitted.
What it WILL do, is cost her husband about $25,000.00 in legal fees.
In the end, he's a bit poorer, but she's still dead--with her family and friends thinking she was possibly a murderer.
You called this story a piece of fiction from your warped mind. Yeah, I'll have to say so. Your mind is very warped. And that's what made this story a good one. Loved it. One of the best. (5 stars)
That's a big penalty for his cheating but he should have been a better lover to her, used lube in her ass, all that good stuff. I hope I never get punished for the times I cheated.
HA. I liked it. The only problem is that she won't celebrate her revenge from Heaven because she'll be burning in hell. Oh well.
Another HA
Perfect ending and it was important - he had to be looking over his shoulder - the shit head -
Let's hope he dies in prison with some fucking his dead ass lol
radk, I thought this was a well written, sharply to the point story of logical vengeance.
For those readers who thought the husband could easily escape prosecution. Well.there is the body of the woman he had an affair with, buried in his bag yard with a murder weapon he had owned.
And here is a holographic letter by a dead witness who claimed she saw him murder the woman and bury her in the yard. Unless some really solid alibi is produced, yeah I think the DA is gonna get at least a conviction for Manslaughter and maybe Homicide.
After all these years and from my experiences (second or third hand) of people I have known who have attempted or committed suicide. I have come to the conclusion that in many cases of successful or failed suicide, it is an act of hate and despair not fear nor pain nor inferiority.
I think the person wanting to commit suicide has a major case of hate against another person and despairs of ever otherwise getting revenge on them for whatever originating act or words caused the hate. That the suicide seeks to strike at the person or persons they hate in a manner that will devastate the target and leave no one available to retaliate against. Self-destruction would seem to accomplish both these goals.
Though frankly, afterwards, it appears to me that original target usually takes little notice of the self-inflicted death or quickly gets over what little grief they may have felt. I wonder if this obliviousness was one of the triggers of the hate.
Unfortunately the suicide never considers the collateral damage they cause. All the other people who are irrevocably suffering at the loss of someone they had cared about. I said this was a logical vengeance, but obviously not rational and not reasonable.
..... because my wife died recently. Three months short of our 23rd anniversary. Daughter's name isn't Susan, but her life sounds like Susan's life. Not cancer -- suicide. She left a note, which I won't divulge. No murders involved. No cheating either. I miss her every day.
Oh man, first the wife kills her husband's lover and then as her last gift, she implicates him in the murder. That's beyond belief!
I don't want to say that she did something wrong with the letter, because revenge comes in all forms, but the premeditated murder of another person is impossible to explain away. So: welcome to Hell, Paula. We'll have us a nice hot camp-fire now.
But I think he deserved it. My life has not been perfect but I would never be a sorry bastard like he was, mistreating his wife the way he did. My wife cut me off about 15 years ago because ED got me but she would not experiment (much) and gagged and vomited after giving head. I promised to not make her do that (I never MADE her, she did it willingly but always gagged etc.) and offered to give her all the fingering and cunnilingus she wanted. When she declined that it really bothered me so a big part of my love went away. I still loved her, we have some good children and (now) grandchildren. We still get along pretty good and support each other. I offered last year to resume the offer I had made to her, her answer "I'll let you know". She never let me know. Fortunately for me I found a friend with benefits with whom I am still friendly, the benefits have declined with age but we are still good friends. I made the offer last year, as I stated, so if she does not want to be that friendly I will just go elsewhere. I think we have kissed at least six times per year so if that is enough it is enough for me (with her). WE are best friends and are affectionate (like brother and sister). I guess we will just keep on keepin' on. Too bad, we both are missing out. At least I get a little affection from my dear friend (that I have been faithful to, I don't know about her, I never ask). Not a great way to live but there are much worse ways. At least we are close to our children and their progeny. Thanks for listening.
I felt this was in need of review by an editor or something prior to posting. The constant vacillation of person (husband) was confusing and distracting. But in the end, how can she frame her husband and admit to it all in the same letter? Not well thought out.
...There are two overlapping stories told here. One story in ITALIC font and another story in REGULAR font.
Since some of you seem to lack the ability to multi-task (that's why your car insurance is so high). First read the Italic font story before you read the Regular font story.
The paragraphs in Italic Font are the holographic letter as written by the dying wife.
The paragraphs in Regular font are the dying wife's thoughts, a sub-vocal conversation with herself.
Now go back to the beginning and read both stories in sequence and your confusion will be cleared.
You're welcomed.
Ah, he was a murderer, which is slightly worse than being 'mean'. Informing the police, (albeit belatedly) hardly seems to be 'startling retribution'! It's called having a conscience.
Also, where do people learn to read these days? By text? Doesn't anyone understand the use of italics in writing anymore? How hard is it to comprehend that she is having an internal dialogue while writing the letter? There should be no confusion! The author doesn't need an editor, those readers need english lessons! Read more books, people!
I too need reading lessons! I raced through the story too quickly! (I tend to do that, which is why I usually re-read stories, soon after, just in case). Someone mentioned multi tasking, well I don't do that well!
How did I miss the fact that SHE killed the lover? The lesson obviously being that I should practice what I preach, and give MY undivided attention when reading!
Again, apologies for the idiotic error in my previous comment!
first off, yes the wife was a bitch. but just from reading the story i cant blame her. all i have to go on is the story though. it is from her perspective so take it with a grain of salt. i did love her revenge. it was something i would think of. oh and from reading the comments. reading comprehension isnt very strong on this site. sometime i do it also. if i dont like where the story is going i will skim ahead.still i try to reread if i am gonna post a comment.
and then a guess what happens. TK U MLJ LV NV
my kind of woman! yes she is a psychopath, but will choose a faithful psychopath over a well adjusted cheating wife any given damn day.
She was a bitch from hell and she is going right back there, lol! She forgot that her husband was out bowling when she killed his lover so he has 50 witnesses for his alibi.
well done story of a selfish cunt. the daughter probably turned out that way to spite the witch . was cancer a metaphor for what she was ? genuinely curious
But there was nothing said about him bowling when the neighbor slut had her head caved in. Perfect crime as long as it's hubbies fingerprints on the bat and not hers.
The wife got rid of the bat. She said he never missed. Also the wife didn't state that she used gloves so her finger prints are on the bat. Guess what it's his bat so obviously his finger prints would also be on the bat under normal conditions. The husband wasn't home when his wife killed the slut. He was bowling which she hated.
Wife does btb on ''bastard'' husband and she is selfish -add choice of expletive. Husband does same to cheating wife and he is acclaimed and applauded.
Lest any misconstrue my feelings, I am male.
Matters not the sex of the cheating spouse retribution is favored.
In real world she would be deemed to have gone to far.
In lw world, her revenge, especially on husband, was delicious as apples on the burial site tree.
Sounds like the average over entitled moaning women. Don't know when they've got it good. Happy International womens day to any of your lovely ladies reading this today btw. :-)
so many missed the line where she admitted killing the husbands lover.
From this line her revenge is perfect.
The Police will find the body where she says it is buried. They will find the murder weapon (autographed Mickey Mantle baseball bat).
They cannot question the dead wife. So arsehole will die in prison for a murder he did not commit.
Excellent story from someone with a great imagination.
but chances are just as good he can use this in courts.
nothing better than a spouse cheated on, with cancer.
and autopsies are amazingly accurate.
i find it hard to believe she could get him arrested for this.
she can absolutely put him temporarily in orange and in a court. but he'll most likely win. and then the wife will be the prime suspect. her legacy will be of a sad wife that killed some young teeney bopper.
the story would have been better had the husband actually been the killer. i know you wanted a, 'what a twist' and 'justice at last' moment. but i don't think it's gonna end like she hopes.
Go honey
Bat gone and body will be found
Alibi?
Way she planned doubt it
4 stars
Now that's getting even! If she is sure he didn't have an alibi, it might just work.
It feels that the revenge on the asshole is rather lacking. She didn't blame him to the police, or anything :(