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byoneiria©
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by Anonymous

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by twelveoone06/13/11

Ah, C'mon

Wolfen porn with a Ginsberg title, Why bother? I doubt you would want anything further.
I didn't vote,

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by UnderYourSpell06/13/11

~

I don't get the point of this layout which is distracting and there are far too many as he/she did this that and the other, 8 as hes/4 as shes (2 of those in the same 4 line stanza!)

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by Anonymous06/13/11

Apart from the distracting centralised lay-out, this one had so much potential. The first six stanzas {"She remembered the eyes... .... ...face dim in the moon's icy night"} had me intrigued and then it all went down south.

Much to my own disappointment, I find most erotic poetry sacrifising the mystique, the intrigue, the hint of a nuance, the twist and the turn of poetry in favour of the graphic. Spoils it for me, but it could be my own personal little ghost, so never mind.

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by Koba06/13/11

Well done! The imagery is wonderful and your descriptions are arousing! They certainly elicited a response in me. The layout is a bit distracting but you seem to like that form so ok. Good work!

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by Corpse_rider06/13/11

Half moon

This is prose, not a poem. You should have expanded it to a short story and submitted it as fiction. I'm not saying it's bad, it's just not poetry.

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