by jamesofthedead
You jumped between characters too much, leaving the reader confused and trying to catch up to the storyline.
loved the story, but find some way to differentiate between the characters... italics for one or the other perhaps?
looking forward to the next chapter...
I enjoyed this, but I think that he needs to be agressive and be sure to grab the upper-hand quickly. A teacher fucking a student needs to be carful of the possibility of blackmail so he should blackmail her first. Maker her his private little bitch.
... While there is much potential to this story, the writing style is so sloppy, it detracts from the enjoyment of it. What, no spanking?? And there is a section at the beginning that appears twice, yet is written in different styles. Clean it up, like Emily had to, and we might enjoy it, like the teacher enjoyed her!
he jumped over his desk to get to her ? she had a look of horror on her face as he got ready to glaze her? she's a slut; they're used to that. you need an editor, or maybe go and read what you've already stroked. ooops: you can't read THAT, can you?