Adonis in the Flesh Ch. 01

Well done!! Cliffhanger & all!

Love when good writers occasionally bounce back & forth between characters perspective. And you definitely have the chops of a good, if not great writer. Great cliffhanger kind of ending, leaving the readers begging for more. I'll join the chorus, begging for more. VERY well done

Wow, that's such a great compliment! Thank you so much! I was really nervous writing my first story on here, so thanks for the support! Ch. 02 is coming soon!

Great beginning

I loved this story so far can't wait for the rest of the story! I liked how the story switched from gabes perspective to elenas and vice versa.

Great Start!

You wove a tale of lighthearted fun with just enough foreboding detail to set the hook and reel us in. Well done, and I can't wait for the next part.

~Nightime

joining in with the group of men

well let me just say you have broken the ice and thats the hard part.
now you can really let rip with the next awesome part or parts.
i really like the way you opened up with this first story. and can see this getting better with each new story. adonis inthe flesh ch 1 on to chapter two,

nice

love this first chapter! I want to enjoy more of this...soon!

Do you know what a Bitch you sound like?

That's a little uncalled for no?

Love it!

Please upload the next chapter i can't wait!

Aww come on why so short!!!! This looks like I really great start I'm loving it already the story line is different from everything else I've read. Great job

@ purple_rose I'm glad you enjoyed it! It wasn't that short when it was on Word, its about 6 pages, but I guess on here that's just equivalent to one page. I promise to make the next one at least twice as long! Its already in the works!

Thank you everyone for your kinds words and advice! Very much appreciated!

next chapter!

PLEASE!

Soooo

Ok quick question(cuz I'm weird and the smallest things bug the crap outta me)...Is she originally from america? If so why is she calling soccer football? Lol sorry I'm an odd girl. But other than that looooooved it :)

The whole "football/soccer" question

A lot of people have been asking the same question. Let me clarify a bit. The way I speak obviously has a strong influence on my writing, so at times things like "football" instead of "soccer" or "trousers" instead of "pants" will sneak their way into my stories. Rest assured, its soccer in future chapters, and I promise to be more vigilant in staying true to my characters! As you read on, you'll find there's more to Ellena's background than just L.A. and Toronto!

But to be clear, it is actually called football!! I can't stand the word soccer, but for my readers, and the sake of the story I'll make the exception! Haha! Hope you enjoy future chapters!