All Comments on 'Pursuit of Happiness 06'

OMG! I'm shakin in my seat! Next installment soon please!

I love this story, but I see action, and I'm reeled in completely! Let's see the rest!!!

As always I love reading your stories and I am very impatient for the next chapter.

Yes I said tease. That's all this chapter is A Big Tease! Ok I'm done venting. As always this story leaves me craving for the next chapter. I have all these questions in my head. What does Micheal want? Will Emmett let him live once he finds him? Of course no one can just take an Alpha daughter w/o repercussions. How is this going to affect all the other pack? See all these question from what you can a short chapter. I think this proves it's more about the content than the length.

I also have enjoyed watching you grow as an author. Just in this storyline I have seen improvements to your writing style. Keep up all of your good work.

I didn't see this coming... I wonder what Michael has planned for Lyssa and Jo. I hope he won't for Jo to be his fathers new mate.

wow - you ratcheted this story up many notches - I have been loving it all along but now I am riveted - hurry and post again soon

Why shout to Emmett instead? Maybe instinct? But she has already proven that she can bring men to her knees with her mind. And she's been working so hard practicing sparring. Seems silly not to use the talents she has.

Maybe she will when she wakes up or maybe Joanna will use whatever her new talent is.

I cant help but say this. I do like the story but you jump around WAY to much. Until your wtiting improves and you can be continious when you chsnge scenes PLEASE for the sake of your readers put in dividers. All we need are some stars between paragraphs so we can seperate mentally. I will continue to read this series and see if there is improvment

I like your story. You have a lot of good ideas. What I find most distracting about your writing is that you switch between past and present. One sentence you're using the past tense and the next is in present tense. Generally, stories are told in the simple past. Pick up any crime novel/romance and you'll notice that the character "went" rather than "goes" or "said" rather than "says".

You could also work on lingering on a scene. Like when characters have sex. Describe every touch, every feeling. It builds anticipation and allows your readers to put themselves in a character's place.

I only mean this as constructive criticism. Your story is still very good.

And his actions just proved it - kidnapping of a not-yet-18 girl from another pack. Isn't that akin to declaring war? Cal has to get over his grief quickly, knock some sense into his boy and find another heir.

And oh yeah, am shocked that Lyssa didn't do anything to defend herself - wasn't that what all the training was for? She could have just screamed - everyone would have heard her and it would have incapacitated Michael and his goons.

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