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English
Wonderfully Consuming
Etheral, delicate, and tender...
Untamed, wicked, and lustful...
So wonderfully consuming!
Very intimate
I'm giving praise to an erotic horror story - what is the world coming to? The sheer passion and intimacy make this one a damn fine read.
Oh dear me...
Normally, I prefer a vampire story with more romanticism, and less brutality, but the further I got into this, the more I decided to make an exception, I suppose culminating with what one might call a happy ending, if one may.
*blows a kiss of gratitude to the author*
no need for a title
I too like to write and do crave the feedback. Sometimes its hard to swallow the negative feedback. You'll be getting none from me. Very descriptive, entrancing, great stuff.
agreed
I too crave feedback and criticism, so I'd love to oblidge you...
As far as criticism goes, the transitions between one thought and the next are a little shaky in places - not bad for a 45 minute story, but definately a 45 minute story. I wish it would have been slightly more evident that the "rings" I was reading about weren't on her fingers - having to make that adjustment to the mental imagery half way through the story threw me off. I wonder a bit about the back story - how did he know this grave, were the flowers really for her, etc - leaving it out isn't a big deal, but it almost read like you the author didn't have an answer for those questions yourself?? Even when you don't share it, a back story will give life to your characters in ways otherwise unattainable.
Other than that, it's a great piece. The absence of dialogue makes it intriguing and also uncluttered. Wise choice. It is obvious that he, the human, is in control, not being seduced without his permission, which is sadly all too uncommon in vampire literature - I very much appreciated it.
Keep writing. This is great stuff.
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