Keep writing! This was really good and I would love to read further chapters.
More, please! 4 *s for a great read.
That was a good start. You have a knack for writing. But the more you explain, the fewer surprises the reader gets. And hence the less excitement. Don't describe Cathy's growing desire to dominate Nick by relating her thoughts, describe her actions.
Suddenly, Nick calls her Mistress. Now that's exciting. Don't explain and analyse, tell the story. Keep writing, HotSause. I look forward to the next instalments.
As a sub male i was impressed. i enjoyed the genre and could imagine which of my friends was the Domme.
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