by ShamelessWife
This is my first attempt at writing erotica (or anything, really) and it is turning out to be a LOT harder than I thought! Still, I'm having fun! I didn't take the time to edit and polish it before posting, you know how virgins are always so eager, lol. Hopefully I'll get better with experience...
Sorry for the language, I tried to make the conversations as natural as possible. I didn't realize how much we cuss!
I know this theme is totally cliche- one super hot woman with two super-hot guys who both want her. :rolls eyes: What can I say, it's a fav fantasy of mine. Maybe I didn't get enough attention growing up :cute pout:
Chapters two and three are awaiting approval, and I'm gonna work on ch four this afternoon, while the kids are napping. I'm sooo glad I found this site!
This is a perfect tease to the start of a seemingly playful "teasing" story. The dialogue is crisp and fun. The reader gets a vivid glimpse into the hot sweaty body and mind of the female character, Linds. Great repartee! Great start! Great metaphor of climbing a mountain. A couple of small points though...I presume that the next chapter will give the reader some information as to why Anders is staying with this couple for more than two weeks, what is the relationship between the three characters, etc. There should have been a bit of background info in this first part to reassure the reader that this was more than just a commercial stroke story. Further, what kind a name is Linds? (need a sentence of explanation) Also did the clever dialogue get in the way of exposition. Like, how did they get down from the mountain?...she trips and suddenly they are at the parked car...musta been a small mountain huh? These are small quibbles. Good start...I look forward to the delicious, decadent descent of all the characters.
Thanks for the helpful advice! I'm going to look into editing it, not sure how that works on here. I got a little rushed ;)
Linds is Georgia-speak for Lindsay. My real life BFF. <3
A very good setup for what promises to be a sexy story. One caution: steel yourself for the "loving wives police," who will surely launch their attacks as soon as the extramarital sex begins. Please don't be discouraged by their vitrol. You are a promising new writer.
Thanks for the encouragement! I'm super excited about this story, I've never shared anything like this before. I've read tons of it but never written it. I feel a bit like an exhibitionist! :blushes:
Lol, bring it on "loving wives police"! I actually thought about posting this story in that category, but I feel like it's going to end up being more of a novella.
I happen to be a VERY loving wife, and my hubby is loving this story as I write it. Of course, if he actually had a hot Swedish friend, he might not like it so much ;) Unfortunately, none of his friends really do it for me. :( But I guess that's a good thing for him!
You seem to get support from old men .Is it they are trying to be close to you eventually; to watch but not to participate. A 60 years old should be from the era of flower child,free love,etc of the 60's and he/she could have been a creation of those wild days but how many are these people ,only a handful but their culture have evovled into somewhat similar to your stories.This is not a new way of life but a trend born of the hippies culture.
I love Linds! I like how she's fighting the attraction instead of giving in so easily. It gives us readers something to look forward too :) The story was also imaginable, I pictured everything and it flowed perfectly. I'm definitely looking foward to reading more,
Thanks for creating such an amazing chapter.
The WIFE is a KEEPER!
If i were Erik I would invite Anders into the marriage.
When the wife was comparing the two men, her thoughts may have been misdirected! Both men are keepers! She need not choose. SHE MUST SET HER MIND TO HAVE THEM BOTH; WHILE ANDERS IS STAYING WITH THEM THEY SHOULD LIVE IN A MÉNAGE À TROIS.