A Man in Turmoil

Nice Story

First really good story in the Romance/Loving Wife Category since last Thursday... This business of , you don`t own me, is a clear cut sign that it is time to either sit down and talk it out or to get out of the relationship, no one owns anyone else anymore (OK, OK I am talking about in the USA, I hope), but you do owe each other respect and for love, that is more important...

DG Rules

Another great story from the master of them!

Well at least Jerry got a do-over..

Great story as told by a master.

Ok it's very readable though far too syrupy

and my overall feelings are; poor Brenda, lucky Jen. Thanks for writing.

Ooooooo!

Such a beautiful story from the Master. Thank you.

Midwestern Values

I have often observed that you either get it or you don't. You always do.

Loved it!

There is a reason you are one of my favorite authors. Your stories are so touching. This is another example of your fine work.

Story is blah...

The words of another, "syrupy" sums up how I feel as well. Besides the conservative ideas about marriage versus the "slut" future wife, I feel you living and writing in a very regimented thought process which does not allow for any real enjoyment, fun, novelty.
The story is a bit out of place on this Site....almost a story you would find in a PC newspaper...

Excellent story

I agree it was a little "syrupy' but it was very well written and did portray, in a realistic way, important moral values
i read all of your stories

damn fine piece of fiction!

keep writing!

I finished it but . . .

it really read like sketch for a story than a finished product.

Another "Feel Good" From a Master Storyteller

So it's hokey, who cares? It doesn't overdraw DG's account at my Disbelief Bank. As father of two daughters, just looking at the picture of my babies (now grown women) on my desk makes me feel good.

However, somebody should read DG's copy before it gets submitted. I know it's his character narrating the story, so grammatical perfection isn't gonna happen. But sloppy punctuation is the author's responsibility. And I threw the grammar quibbles in with the rest, which will follow via "Send Feedback." If you want to break the rules, that's fine, as long as you know what rules you're breaking.

Excellent.

Excellent work, on so many different levels. 5*
If there is a DGHear Fan Club, I want an application form!

Excellent!!

5 out of 5. A typical dg hear story. Should have been longer.

great story

Well told and written. Enjoyed the entire read. Thanks for writing and sharing.

Jen?

The story would have benefited with a follow up on Jen. She came across a one-dimensional and we don't know her story.

The story seemed to concern a very uptight insecure man who anticipated trouble. He was unwilling to accept an idea that was contrary to his own way of thinking.

A rather stilted monologue

"See Spot run. See Spot jump."
Not your best effort; proof that even a good story idea can be ruined by not alternating longer sentences with shorter ones. "A" for effort, "C" for presentation.

Something was missing...

At the end it still didn't feel complete. I'm usually Ok with however someone ends a story but at the end this one took a turn that needed closure with the previous woman, IMHO.

It is nice to see that another of my favorite authors likes DG as much as I do.

DG is indeed the "Master" and this is such a good story that I have now actually read it three times. I have never encountered a story by this author that I didn't enjoy and this was one of his best!

What do you mean Scorpio???...

...I'm guessing that since Jerry continued on with his side of the dark secrets of the past so did jen,moving on to be a bbc whore.Nice and tidy!

Good Read!!!!!

Thanks for sharing a good story.

Closure!

I agree With Scorpio44 and others. You left behind the closure with Jen. I love your stories! Keep them coming!

Very Good.

Wet Tee Shirt contests are for single women,and in this story she still is. Thanks as always for a good read.

To the last Anonymous: That's the point!!

And since she made an issue of being in the contest, she's going to STAY A SINGLE WOMAN. You must be a woman, Anonymous, to not be able to think beyond step 1 of the situation. Sure, you may always have a right to do, or not do, something but that doesn't necessarily make it the right, or best thing, to do. The girl friend proved her point and she won. She got to be in the Wet Tshirt contest. Now didn't that make her, and everyone else, happy?!?! Gee, are you women stupid. Win the battle, lose the war. Just imagine spending the rest of your life with a bitch like that! Every time you say no, she says yes; and visa versa. She doesn't really care what you think, feel, or how you are affected by anything she does. What if the wedding fell on Nude Day? And she showed up in her Birthday Suit? Just cause it got her attention, and she could. Gee, are you women stupid.

On Closure I disagree

I disagree with a need for closure with Jen the previous fiance. I think the Wet t-shirt contest epilogue showed the difference between the two women very succinctly. Do we need to see her pining away to realize she was a spoiled, spiteful brat and not worthy of being loved. Nice work as usual. I love to see DGhear's name in the new story column, never a disappointment.

crap story

Sycophants aside, this story is unoriginal and uninteresting - not a crime to be one or the other but being both makes it a failure. Hope to see better next time.

what does this have to do with

the nude day competition? Just the fact that there is a peripheral mention of a nude beach and a lame wet t shirt contest?

Meh

Another DG Story

DG, Thanks for another story from that inventive mind of yours. Jen chose to ignore the statement that her competing in the contest could mean the end of the wedding plans. Surely any reasonable person would think oops, I better sit down and talk about this before I go ahead and screw my life up. She went ahead, did the deed, she suffered the consequences. A good story, well told Brenda 1 Jen 0. BTW you telegraphed the baby not being aborted

Almost didn't catch this one, since I mostly scan the New Stories section for LW stuff. The only reason I did catch it was because it was on the top of the list, and I saw DG Hear's name.

On to the story itself. What we see here is a clash of values and morals, or so it seems. (Ugh, I sound pompous...)

Jerry and Jen had very differing opinions on what was allowed and not allowed. Jerry thought a wet t-shirt contest was inappropriate for a (soon to be) wife, and Jen disagreed. Some guys think that it's no big deal, as long as there was no touching. Others, like Jerry, can't handle it. That differs from person to person.

Personally, I don't think the wet t-shirt contest itself was a dealbreaker for the wedding. No, it was the way Jen handled it. Read beyond the "Jerry's an uptight chauvinist, Jen's a freespirited woman" angle, guys.

Jen entered the contest to SPITE Jerry, the man she supposedly loved and wanted to marry. "If you say that I can't do something, I am gonna do it."
How very loving.

Second, Jerry had TOLD Jen that the wedding would be off if she participated. THAT is a fucking big threat if I ever saw one, and how does Jen handle it? She dismisses it! She doesn't care at all what Jerry thinks. If Jen really loved and respected Jerry, she would've paused at such a threat ("is this really such a good idea? Is it worth my marriage?"), but she didn't.

And last but not least, and probably the biggest dealbreaker, Jen purposefully telling everybody that Jerry was a "baby killer", a secret he had told only to Jen.

She blurts out THE secret her soon-to-be husband had told her in full confidence, to everybody who could hear her, the MOMENT they get in an argument. With this, Jen proves she cannot be trusted. She would use any and every dirty trick and secret to win the fight, not caring at all about the collateral damage. And afterwards:

"I couldn't believe it when I finally answered it that she asked me if I was ready to apologize to her."

Doing all that, and STILL thinking Jerry had hurt HER and NOT viceversa, and wanting HIM to apologize? Urgh, that's rage-inducing.

It's these 3 things, NOT the differing morals and values, NOT the wet t-shirt contest, that made me see Jen as a bad person.

Although it would've been nice to read how Jen ended up, for this story, it wasn't really necessary.

Now for nitpicking. I also think that this story seems more like an outline than a fully fleshed out story, especially the parts where he meets up again with Brenda, and all the father-daughter stuff. There was barely anything there, really.

(I have to admit picking apart the stuff you provided about Jen's personality and behavior was pretty fun.)

Make a grown man cry

This was an awesome story, not the typical stroke story written for this site, but a story written with emotion. I finished it with tears in my eyes. You have touched my heart.

Beautiful

It was the most beautiful heart warming story thank you .

Great story

Stimulating and endearing...great combination...well written. Thank you Mr. Hear!

Enjoyable, well-written story

Really nice to have a DG story today. Very well done!

Wonderful Story

In this case, the skeleton in the closet could smile and say 'I love you'.

Five Stars as always !

YOU DID IT AGAIN ! How long can you keep topping yourself?
Great story DG Thanks for sharing.

A Story in Turmoil

Skeletal and halfdone, more like an outline than a story. Dialogue is weak, storyline is contrived and predictable, story was obviously 'phoned in.' Perhaps worthy of JPB, not good enough for DG Hear. Sorry mate.

good story

My one problem was that I think Jen undergoes a pretty dramatic change of character from the scene where they are sharing past mistakes to where she becomes wicked bitch of the east. The part that was most overdone was the next day when she was still expecting him to apologize. That seems to me to be over the top and not in character. But I guess you wanted to get to the romance, which was well done.

Mixed feelings

Jerry ended up landing on his feet, with a good job and with the woman he really loved, so that part "feels good." But Brenda is far from perfect and she only partly apologizes for having kept her daughter and her daughter's father apart. She thought he did not want the child -- I can sort of see that but in reality, most women would have tried harder, especially with a child asking why she doesn't have a daddy. He didn't "go away," and telling a lie to a young child does not fix the problem.

And she did take and use Jerry's money -- if she was so proud and all, why do that? Further, Brenda just "accidentally got pregnant?" I'm not saying Jerry wasn't responsible in part, but wasn't she as well? Let's face it, college women have at least some education and sophistication. They know about the birds and the bees. Was Brenda's pregnancy really accidental?

I can't believe there was no discussion about birth control -- it wasn't the first sex for the two of them -- and women are the ones in charge of birth control because it is, after all, the woman who gets pregnant. So she either puts the condom on her man, or she takes the pill, or she gets fitted for an IUD, or whatever. So what didn't Brenda do in this instance? Maybe she "forgot" a pill or two? We don't know, but the Freudian folks out there would say she subconsciously wanted to become pregnant.

Now for Jen. I agree with other comments; her behavior at the club was inexcusable. One of the principles of love with another is the desire to make the other person happy, and to avoid doing something that would hurt the other person, or even make them uncomfortable. Clearly Jerry was uncomfortable with the idea of Jen in a wet tee shirt contest. Jen decided that her exhibitionism was more important than her fiance's opinion. Further, she revealed herself to be spoiled and spiteful.

Lucky for Jerry to have found out before the wedding. Jen's behavior was not very credible based on the way her character was developed in the story. But there really are low-life women out there who are full of themselves (and there are certainly men who behave that way, too). She turned out to be a Dr. Jekyll and Ms. Hyde. Thanks for writing.

i liked it....

I liked it but ...

... I would have liked to have them run into Jen when they came to town. Would have loved to hear how she was doing post- break up.

Great story... really great is it "too " sweet?

well that depends. The way I read this story Jerry had certain values and he wanted to build his marriage upon those values. That approach makes a ton of sense.

Its not that brenda's values are right or wrong... they are simply incompatable with Jerry's. The wet T-shirt contest in the immediate weeks BEFORE being married may or may not be a deal breaker.

But if one spouse Objects to another spouse's behavior in a very strong way.... the other spouse should never say as the FIRST reaction 'YOU DONT OWN ME".

Then to use the abortion thing as a WEAPON...openly in public like that... Holy shit. Maybe if the couple has been fighting in PRIVATE for an 30 minutes things then sure things can get heated and people can say really hurtful cruel things.

The ABORTION angle to the story sets up the 2nd half of the story. Its shows that Jerry and brenda were both emotionally damage by the abortion idea. Brenda should NOT of kept the child info from Jerry but the reasoning why she thought it might better to do so makes SOME sense.

But the author brillantly uses the abortion thing to show a compatability of values between Jerry and Brenda. And that in turn makes the ending work very well.

Good story

Just had to read "comments" section b4 I did. Let sleeping dogs lie. Agree. Jen, forget about it.

DG,

I'm happy to have read AMiT. Needed a feel good story today.

Trite sappy story if you are 20 but not at 55+, OK +++. Great story with just enough conflict and mystery. Just us good guys in the end!

Thanks for sharing on Lit.


x

A good story for potential mates

Jerry's idea of marriage is very traditional. Biblically speaking, a wife submits to her husband and the husband treats his family as Jesus treated his flock, with unconditional love. Yes, the husband own's his wife's body, but the wife own's the husband's body. People that follow the written word, have better marriages. Divorces come from those that want to create their own rules. Jerry was aware that ther is only one set of rules that work for a good marriage.

The type of disrespect that Jen showed Jerry would have caused me to call off the wedding as well. Her atitude was an indicator of disaster in the future. The only thing that would work better is if people actually waited for sex until marriage, or at least engagement. I know that this is not the way things work, but it would prevent a number of problems and create a better atmosphere for a stable marriage.

I enjoyed it, and am looking forward to the next one.

5 stars

Excellent story. Majority of DGHear's stories are excellent!
I would have been curious for fate of his earlier bride.

Thanks for a great story!

There were hints early on that it would turn out like it did with the abortion not taking place and a probable ultimate reunion. I loved the happy ending. Thanks DGHear

DG, you're the best!

I really can't put my finger on what makes your stories have such a "feel good" characteristic to them but they certainly do. This story was no exception. Keep up the great work.

Great Story :)

I've been reading your stories since 2004, when I first started you just had 40 stories put up. I have read each and every story of yours and have loved all of them except one or two..this story too had the same dg hear magic in it..keep up the great job ur doing :) .. All the best and loads of wishes.

IMHO

It is a story with a moral (or 2... or maybe 3). I liked the hero's old fashioned values and would make no excuse for them. They work. Our hero ends up with exactly what he can comfortably live with. That's what we all want in the end, isn't it?

A good read and a good ride. I enjoyed it immensely.

Brilliant as Always

Thanks for the story DG, and like I've always said from the very beginning; you're the one who inspired me to write here on Lit.

Thanks Buddy,
MoogPlayer