I feel so bad for Mira and Brian. They were dating before their parents even met. Now they are not allowed to continue after their parents married.
Anyway, nice start and I look forward to the next chapter.
by
Anonymous07/11/11
memories
great story well worth the 5 i rated it at i had a cousin i fucked and suked
Pretty good so far. I wouldn't have stoped dating her, as long as she was ok with it I'd would have siad lets just keep dating, who cares if the parents got married, it's not his fault or problem. The parents can't make every decision for them forever.
I liked the story a lot, although some of the elements didn't seem to jive to me; i.e. they were dating before and "in love" but just completely dropped it and moved on after their parents married. That piece just seems tacked on in context with the rest of the story.
Overall though, great work on a sexy read!
by
Anonymous07/13/11
great
Awesome stuff!! Masterfully told
by
Anonymous07/14/11
Brilliant
'Loved it - One of the best!' is exactly right! Amazing story, with extra Zingg!!!
Hey guys, I love that so many people are excited about this new series. I had the idea of what would happen if a boyfriend and girlfriend's single parents ended up getting married a while back, and I'm excited that you all like the premise. But remember, this is just the beginning...they still have the rest of the week together at home alone during spring break....then after that comes the other 20 days! Feel free to email me if you have any suggestions for what you might want to happen zooeyaudrey@thealterranarchive.org
Hugs and kisses,
Zooey Audrey
by
Anonymous07/15/11
Content Editor?
Do you have a content editor to check the plot and storyline issues? 1. I agree with some others who feel that more should be told about the step-siblings "love" and their apparent ease in ignoring it for years. 2. Minor thing I caught: Tyran had Mira when she was 16 and is now 37. That would make Mira 21, NOT 18. Easy fix for that, however.
great hot story and totally believable..part 2 soon
by
Anonymous03/31/12
WASTE OF TIME
no background as to the relationship between the step kids or how the parents got together. very unrealistic that he gets grounded because of her and yet he isn't super pissed at her I SURE WOULD BE PISSED ST HER. THIS READS LIKE CHAPTER TWO INSTEAD OF ONE DELETE BOTH CHAPTERS AND DO A REWRITE ADDING THE PROPER BACKGROUND THEN IT MIGHT BE A GOOD STORY. AS IS A TOTAL WASTE OF YOUR TIME AND MINE PLUS A WASTE OF THE SITES SPACE.
I don´t mind that not all circumstances are explained. These stories where the writer spends pages detailing the history of a family bore me to death. Much better entering right into the action, as a movie also would. Great reading
Well written. Good build up with a climax that demands you to read the next chapter. Keep them coming.
by
Anonymous01/09/13
The only problem I had was the writer mentioning the mom was currently 37, later said she gave birth at the age of 16, that would make Mira 21, however the writer claims she is 18. Other than those small details it was a very good read!
by
Anonymous12/03/13
too much info
there was too much info & the story seemed to drag along in places.
Despite what Anonymous has written, this is an extremely effective short story!
There is at least one (bravely) anonymous commenter on this site who seems to have nothing good to say about anything he reads. (One such Anonymous is deeply offended by incest and yet continues to read incest stories: why?) Writing of any kind is a difficult process at best, and ALL Literotica submitters deserve our thanks for at least trying their best to entertain us. Helpful criticism is one thing; peevish negativity for its own sake is quite another.
Good writing - enjoyed it. Looking forward to reading chapter two.
by
Anonymous09/18/14
love the story
I did love this story.
But it's a bit to close to reality for me, al I say is I hate hypocrites religious zealots parent. For me it ended good my girlfriend first, then be came my step sister and we had to fight parent and religious zealots. Now we are married don't talk with relative that are religious zealots....
I'm all in on this one. I look forward to following this through to the end. I love how you teased it and they haven't actually had intercourse yet. It leaves the reader wondering if doing that will change their dynamic. Also, what will happen when/if the secret gets out?
You have a lot of angles to go with here. This was a great read. Thank you.
Not really incest, since they are only related by parents' marriage, but a nice story. Emotionally teens, but legally adults, parents could kick them out, but can't stop them from fucking if they want to.
This was one of the most well written stories i have read, not just on Literotica, but online period. I could honestly see it in my head as I read it. you are very good at realistic internal dialogue, and you do a nice job of describing the characters and the setting and environment without having to spend five paragraphs on it. My only complaint isn't with your writing style at all, but simply that they were step-siblings who had been in a prior relationship. I always say not to take advice from me, it'll only get you drunk. But i am also a perv who really enjoys erotic literature , and the knowledge of their previous relationship combined with the fact that they aren't blood related kind of turned it from a incest story into a, idk...regular love story? anyway, I hope you dont give a shit what I think. You're great and i look forward to reading all your material. - Dirty Dan The Garbage Man
English
Good start
Now .... how about the rest?????
Whoa.
I feel so bad for Mira and Brian. They were dating before their parents even met. Now they are not allowed to continue after their parents married.
Anyway, nice start and I look forward to the next chapter.
memories
great story well worth the 5 i rated it at i had a cousin i fucked and suked
Loved it!
Great story, very believable, very entertaining!
Very Good.......so far
Pretty good so far. I wouldn't have stoped dating her, as long as she was ok with it I'd would have siad lets just keep dating, who cares if the parents got married, it's not his fault or problem. The parents can't make every decision for them forever.
great story
Really like the way this story is beginning to unfold. Please keep it coming... hopefully it is a long story! looking forward to episode 2-30!
fucking wonderful
Sexy as fuck, lots more of this and soon please, great stuff
Good start
Lots of different directions for you to go with this. Looking forward to the next chapter. Don't leave us unsatisfied ;)
Wow
I'm hoping for a long series from this.
It's started off great, I certainly hope there's more.
Next please....
Can't wait for the net episode. Really enjoyed this one.
Love it
Loved the story!!!! Can't wait for the series.
Nice work
I liked the story a lot, although some of the elements didn't seem to jive to me; i.e. they were dating before and "in love" but just completely dropped it and moved on after their parents married. That piece just seems tacked on in context with the rest of the story.
Overall though, great work on a sexy read!
great
Awesome stuff!! Masterfully told
Brilliant
'Loved it - One of the best!' is exactly right! Amazing story, with extra Zingg!!!
great read
That was wonderful. Can't wait until next part.
Just the beginning
Hey guys, I love that so many people are excited about this new series. I had the idea of what would happen if a boyfriend and girlfriend's single parents ended up getting married a while back, and I'm excited that you all like the premise. But remember, this is just the beginning...they still have the rest of the week together at home alone during spring break....then after that comes the other 20 days! Feel free to email me if you have any suggestions for what you might want to happen zooeyaudrey@thealterranarchive.org
Hugs and kisses,
Zooey Audrey
Content Editor?
Do you have a content editor to check the plot and storyline issues? 1. I agree with some others who feel that more should be told about the step-siblings "love" and their apparent ease in ignoring it for years. 2. Minor thing I caught: Tyran had Mira when she was 16 and is now 37. That would make Mira 21, NOT 18. Easy fix for that, however.
Loved it...
I'm not much into bro/sis incest, but I loved this story.
more
great hot story and totally believable..part 2 soon
WASTE OF TIME
no background as to the relationship between the step kids or how the parents got together. very unrealistic that he gets grounded because of her and yet he isn't super pissed at her I SURE WOULD BE PISSED ST HER. THIS READS LIKE CHAPTER TWO INSTEAD OF ONE DELETE BOTH CHAPTERS AND DO A REWRITE ADDING THE PROPER BACKGROUND THEN IT MIGHT BE A GOOD STORY. AS IS A TOTAL WASTE OF YOUR TIME AND MINE PLUS A WASTE OF THE SITES SPACE.
Very sweet
I don´t mind that not all circumstances are explained. These stories where the writer spends pages detailing the history of a family bore me to death. Much better entering right into the action, as a movie also would. Great reading
Great story
Well written. Good build up with a climax that demands you to read the next chapter. Keep them coming.
The only problem I had was the writer mentioning the mom was currently 37, later said she gave birth at the age of 16, that would make Mira 21, however the writer claims she is 18. Other than those small details it was a very good read!
too much info
there was too much info & the story seemed to drag along in places.
Despite what Anonymous has written, this is an extremely effective short story!
There is at least one (bravely) anonymous commenter on this site who seems to have nothing good to say about anything he reads. (One such Anonymous is deeply offended by incest and yet continues to read incest stories: why?) Writing of any kind is a difficult process at best, and ALL Literotica submitters deserve our thanks for at least trying their best to entertain us. Helpful criticism is one thing; peevish negativity for its own sake is quite another.
Love it
Nicely done
Well Done
Good writing - enjoyed it. Looking forward to reading chapter two.
love the story
I did love this story.
But it's a bit to close to reality for me, al I say is I hate hypocrites religious zealots parent. For me it ended good my girlfriend first, then be came my step sister and we had to fight parent and religious zealots. Now we are married don't talk with relative that are religious zealots....
I'm all in
I'm all in on this one. I look forward to following this through to the end. I love how you teased it and they haven't actually had intercourse yet. It leaves the reader wondering if doing that will change their dynamic. Also, what will happen when/if the secret gets out?
You have a lot of angles to go with here. This was a great read. Thank you.
Well written
great story , can't wait for the next chapter
very nice
Awesome story so far. Cant wait for chapter 4
They Are Legal
Not really incest, since they are only related by parents' marriage, but a nice story. Emotionally teens, but legally adults, parents could kick them out, but can't stop them from fucking if they want to.
This was one of the most well written stories i have read, not just on Literotica, but online period. I could honestly see it in my head as I read it. you are very good at realistic internal dialogue, and you do a nice job of describing the characters and the setting and environment without having to spend five paragraphs on it. My only complaint isn't with your writing style at all, but simply that they were step-siblings who had been in a prior relationship. I always say not to take advice from me, it'll only get you drunk. But i am also a perv who really enjoys erotic literature , and the knowledge of their previous relationship combined with the fact that they aren't blood related kind of turned it from a incest story into a, idk...regular love story? anyway, I hope you dont give a shit what I think. You're great and i look forward to reading all your material. - Dirty Dan The Garbage Man
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