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WTF! "I'm not supposed to lie down and make it easy for sperm to swim to my ovaries. I'm supposed to stay upright."
Are you fucking serious?!
Chapter 1 was so promising, then you made the excuse of not knowing what would happen in future chapters for the shit you put in chapter 2 & 3. It was good to see Sarah & Sullivan made it in this chapter, but it was so tedious I ended up skipping to the end. You need to find an editor.
truer to the original path...but still?????????????????
It is confusing to try and follow you....
I found the ending VERY weak....why didn't they just hop back in the pool and dilute all sperm??
"Heels" are NOT spelled "heals"!!
You seem to start a story line and just get developing it, and then drop it for some reason.... very strange...
Obviously you DO have readers though...so keep working at it...you do have promise!!
Is there a doctor in the house?
When I had trouble getting pregnant, our doctor told me to stay reclined after lovemaking, or even elevate my body to let gravity help the sperm find the egg.
I like Sarah and Sullivan. I hope they can get past this awkward ending to their date.
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