there are several bits that aren't consistant with the earlier chapters. for instance are jareth & amber persuing harvey or not? that is a major plot line that has switched in this chapter. i suggest an editor or reading the chapters through as a whole before submitting. it should help grammer, flow, spelling & consistancy.
Really awesome story I enjoyed it thoroughly from start to finish
Thanks for the comments. I am working towards what happens with Amethyst, Jareth and Hervey.
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