Way to go. :) Nice job. Both Ephraim and and Juliette are the kind of people you want to get together with each other, and it was a fun and sweet (and sexy) way to do it.
If the reader didn't catch on to this being your Nude Day submission, then they were reading your story closely. Excellent story. Has potential for more if you so choose. :)
by
Anonymous07/14/11
more of
these two please. seems to be alot there, and could be very interesting( the ethnic difference , and family reactions )
Like great pastry. Loved the story line, so original and the characters were so believable. Of course he can solve her visa problems by marrying her, but I take it that's for next year's entry--the nude wedding. Only one tiny quibble, which follows via "send Feedback". Good work, Tat!
Yum! Delicious, well-plotted, well-researched, excellent setting descriptions. Your characters were real, and I definitely connected with them. I'm glad you left it a bit open-ended and didn't slight your character's integrity by going for the typical marriage-to-save-her from leaving. Now, I need dessert and suckling in the worst way! ;) Good luck!
Congratulations on crafting such clearly defined characters, as well as a distinctive setting and situation. The dialogue was warm and natural which made the sex worth the wait. In fact, as usual, the sex was hotter because of the anticipation. It looks as if you're no longer active on Lit, which is a shame for readers looking for more than just a quick fuck. Stories like this and "The Pareto Efficient Relationship" make it clear your talent and skill would be most welcome.
Baking, witty dialogue, lively characters, teasing and even some tickling make for sensuality and hot sex. I loved all the quirks of character that made these two people believable and likeable. This was a delightful story by an experienced writer, handled with skill and verve. The telling was not only effervescent, but a great example of the craft of short story writing at its best. I wish you were still contributing your skill and imagination on this site.
English
Nice job!
Way to go. :) Nice job. Both Ephraim and and Juliette are the kind of people you want to get together with each other, and it was a fun and sweet (and sexy) way to do it.
Slow Start but then very loving
It's a wonderful story and very well written. The dialogue felt natural and the sex sounded fun.
Excellent
If the reader didn't catch on to this being your Nude Day submission, then they were reading your story closely. Excellent story. Has potential for more if you so choose. :)
more of
these two please. seems to be alot there, and could be very interesting( the ethnic difference , and family reactions )
Good and Hot, Good and Sweet
Like great pastry. Loved the story line, so original and the characters were so believable. Of course he can solve her visa problems by marrying her, but I take it that's for next year's entry--the nude wedding. Only one tiny quibble, which follows via "send Feedback". Good work, Tat!
Yum! Delicious, well-plotted, well-researched, excellent setting descriptions. Your characters were real, and I definitely connected with them. I'm glad you left it a bit open-ended and didn't slight your character's integrity by going for the typical marriage-to-save-her from leaving. Now, I need dessert and suckling in the worst way! ;) Good luck!
~Luna
Splendid prose
Congratulations on crafting such clearly defined characters, as well as a distinctive setting and situation. The dialogue was warm and natural which made the sex worth the wait. In fact, as usual, the sex was hotter because of the anticipation. It looks as if you're no longer active on Lit, which is a shame for readers looking for more than just a quick fuck. Stories like this and "The Pareto Efficient Relationship" make it clear your talent and skill would be most welcome.
Yummy ingredients baked to perfection
Baking, witty dialogue, lively characters, teasing and even some tickling make for sensuality and hot sex. I loved all the quirks of character that made these two people believable and likeable. This was a delightful story by an experienced writer, handled with skill and verve. The telling was not only effervescent, but a great example of the craft of short story writing at its best. I wish you were still contributing your skill and imagination on this site.
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