Destined To Be

MORE?!

I hope this isn't just a one shot.. This totally should be a story. i am really hoping you continue with this. I love this story!! I want to know if he finds her and why he is cold. Please update!!

0As Is

For a first - you did great, just fine!

I wouldn't change this story or add to it, it is a life experience in total and capsuled in a short story - nice job.

Keep writing, your ability to draw clear pictures and the emotions to go with them is obvious.

In this story, the reader gets to wonder what next, he sounds menacing and dangerous. She is already sad, hurt and drained of any happiness she once thought she had. Good luck for her and hope Mr. back to her stops his quest for control of her life.

Again, this story is perfect, as is!

Thanks, a good read!

Need editor and you need to continue this and justify at least something...

.,...you've described thus far.

did it mention where the wife did anything to improve the marriage

all i saw was a pathetic female crying me, me, me

Wow thats different...

I thought everyone would side with April and dislike Mark but now I see all different reactions. I'll have to keep that in mind. This is only the beginning and I like to throw some twists in so look out for the new chapters. Hopefully I will get better over time, all my efforts are from a wannabe stand point so try to stick with me through the rough times. I love the comments good or bad though so keep them coming.

Awesome!

I loved the story and plot! I especially loved that you showed both point of veiws because it helped the reader grasp what type of relationship the couple has. I can't wait to see what happens if and when he finds her. Keep writing and stay awesome!

The wife seems incredibly selfish, to just leave without even trying to talk to him, did she EVER talk to him about anything? it's just all about her?

You seriously NEED an editor.

Jealousy

I love the jealousy aspect of it...sometimes...it's knowing he is angry, upset and fearful of losing her that makes it soo arousing. I guess that is why woman love their husband to be a bit jealous every now and again. But people should never mistaken it for tolerance of abuse.

There are a lot of grammatical errors. You either need an editor or you need to proofread before you post. Looks like it will be a great story though.

Loving this story!

I hope you write more!

it has so much potential, but it's just left unfinished