way to rushed this should have been spread out over days or weeks not hours. he gave in way to fast it goes against the way you made the charicter delete it and do a rewrite and do it right this time.
by
Anonymous07/18/11
Re: rushed
What's a charicter?
by
Anonymous07/19/11
Honorable discharge
Good short story and no, it didn't require a long time to develop. Afterall, the characters knew and had teased each other developing a common bond from three years ago. Enjoyed the story. Would like to read more encounters of this continued relationship between these two characters. loved it!
by
Anonymous07/19/11
again!
Fire up another chapter please! This is a beauty, and it needs more!
I found I wasn't particularly thrilled with this story. It's not bad, just... didn't catch my interest. While I agree a build-up and background before the actual act isn't always necessary -I do enjoy quickies- this just jumped ahead too fast for my liking. I don't think I'll read the rest of the series.
English
rushed
way to rushed this should have been spread out over days or weeks not hours. he gave in way to fast it goes against the way you made the charicter delete it and do a rewrite and do it right this time.
Re: rushed
What's a charicter?
Honorable discharge
Good short story and no, it didn't require a long time to develop. Afterall, the characters knew and had teased each other developing a common bond from three years ago. Enjoyed the story. Would like to read more encounters of this continued relationship between these two characters. loved it!
again!
Fire up another chapter please! This is a beauty, and it needs more!
Damn amazing story. Keep writing more.
dont worry
im way ahead of you guys and have already posted the next chapter i promise you'll all love it
Editor
This could use some editing. A spell checker isn't sufficient.
Eh.
I found I wasn't particularly thrilled with this story. It's not bad, just... didn't catch my interest. While I agree a build-up and background before the actual act isn't always necessary -I do enjoy quickies- this just jumped ahead too fast for my liking. I don't think I'll read the rest of the series.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Hey Big Brother or
More submissions by tinytot24.