All Comments on 'A Love Like Fireflies'

but part of me kinda hope that Nick and Pete will be together, I mean as a couple..after all they've been though. But they still young, so it's better not put 'happy ever after together' first though. I do understand Nick's character and for his needs to be with woman.

It was a very good story. I love it and thanks for sharing it. Hope to read more from you

Enjoyed your story very much! Laughed out loud several times. Keep it up.

What a nicely crafted story. Just long enough to flesh out Pete's feelings and the intricacies of the relationship, but not so long that it was tedious. (And, can I say how refreshing it is to read a complete story in one go- thanks for that!) I also like that it wasn't just about sex, THOUGH I would be curious to know how the boys would navigate that particular minefield seeing how once sex within a loving couple takes place, it has the potential to color relations outside the central one.

Excellent Story, but i was so hoping that Nick and Pete became a fully-committed couple! And poor Josh was left out in another story! You just have to make a story for him! Cheers :)

I absolutely loved the story…right up until the end. That last scene with Josh, even before that with Nick and the women… that made my blood run cold and made me feel ill. The abrupt change in the theme of the story—from romance to porn—did not have the intended effect on me at all. Then it ended all so quickly like the betrayals meant nothing to either of them and that humming flow of love just snapped like a broken bunjee cord and the soul of the story plunged to a mangled bloody death. It was an incredibly beautiful, hilariously funny love story, shaping up to be one of my all time favourites, that suddenly turned into a gay porno crossed with melrose place at the end. You had this stunning, precious vibe going with the romance and the love and the sex and then all of a sudden, lets have one of them lie and be an internet whore and spread intimate details while the other one feels betrayed but still gets horny and is okay with it. I can see where you tried to build this ending, the numerous references to being a whore and selling one's body, but still I expected until the very end that it would turn out like it should have. An unexpected ending is fine, but even then, there's an expectation placed on unexpected endings—that they should still hold the same emotional intensity, be it a tragic death, a breakup and lessons learned, or what not. This ending just dropped all emotion which is why I felt physically ill. Now that's a compliment as well as a criticism because only the best stories can build and build and build a physical response (and I dont just mean lust, i mean an emotional tension) and this story had me wound up so tight and unable to separate emotional from physical, that when you dropped me, you really did drop me. I believe that you consider yourself a serious writer and I consider you one also so you should be able to handle the strength of this criticism and find a way to use. Therefore, from a critical point of view, and believe me i'm holding you to the highest standards here because you earned it in the first part of the story, the ending was a major mistake that you should consider going back and changing. My advice is to take it down, reconsider the ending and repost. I'm happy to discuss it with you if you like and also go over the many things I loved about it too (I copied and pasted four pars of text for later because they made me laugh so hard) and I hope that I'm not overstepping my bounds and that i'm doing your a service by taking it seriously. Or you can tell me to shove it :) either way, you're more than welcome to message me back :)

i loved everything about this story, except the ending. it did not fit. it was not in any way happy and it certanly sucked. who would want to be with someone that they had to share like that. i loved the story but there could have been a better ending.

Yo, is this the same Josh from your other story (Cupid's Big Weekend)?

Why is Josh always getting the short end of the stick? :(

I really like everything about this story, except the end.. have to agree with what no_luv said. Still, nice one, cheers.

15 pages for an ending like that was ridiculous. I fell in love with the characters and was only slightly annoyed with their difficulty in labeling their relationship but the last couple pages were so...awful. Nick's "oh, by the way im still gonna bone girls" subracted from the character growth we saw in him in the meadow scene and Pete's indifference was disturbing. The way the relationsip ended up actually turned my stomach; it just didn't seem healthy. I had really high hopes for them and I understood the need for them to go through a few bumps before they figured things out...but they didn't and things just got really dark. This bothered me.

ANYWAY

The writing itself was superb and I very much enjoyed the first 8 or 9 pages of this. I read the other story you posted (which was also very well written) and was delighted and suprised to see Josh again. You are an amazing author and I look forward to reading more of you're post.

-T.

Loved that whole story up until the end..that never works out when hearts are involved. You had such a good story full of love and then it just turned cheap. You do have an amazing talent of hooking the reader though.

The problem isnt the lack of a happy ending, I've read plenty of stories where the characters didn't end up together, or died, or had any other sad and unexpected event happen but I till enjoyed them immensely. The problem is that the end is a complete curve ball. It takes away from everything Pete and Nick had built together and even has the effect of turning the stomach. I can say I went through 14 pages of one of the best storis I've ever had the pleasure of reading and got to the end and completely forgot everything about it that made it good. That's how terrible the ending is; it doesn't even seem like it should be apart of the plot. So, you see, I wasn't expecting a happy ending, I was expecting some sort of resolution like Pete and Nick finally saying that they didn't need any definition when it can to their sexualities and their relationship or maybe even a break up. I would've been fine if they'd decided they couldn't be together. I'm okay with that. Really! I AM!!! But it became really twisted when Nick told Pete that he would sleep with women whenever the need came over him and he knew this when he got with him. What? Huh? And then for him to go on and tell Pete that he would never be enough fo him and for Pete to just accept that.... I must've missed the part where Pete became such a pushover. We saw Pete morph from an extremely stubborn guy that got physically ill at the very thought of men on men love to a strong, accepting man in love. Nick said Pete needed him and in turn he needed Pete. We SAW this. Pete gave him a place to stay, love he'd never had, and everything he was really and suddenly, after 14 pages of bonding and love and outstanding character growth, this isn't enough for Nick? The ending undermined everything they'd gone through to get together. It made the meadow scenes null and void, sweet acceptance of love seem empty and false, it made every kiss, every touch, every sweet nothing murmered seem....not worth it. Quite frankly, it left a bitter taste in my mouth.

But this is not because it wasn't a "happy ending".

To the author: You are amazing. This story made me FEEL, so you did your job :)

Good writing and character/plot development. Can't wait to read the next story !

I literally almost cried at how this ended. :-( it makes me fell like nick is just treating him like a cheap slut or something. i have to much respect for myself and what i have to offer to ever let myself be in the position nick is forcing pete into. i guess thatd why I'm so sad for the end. no offense or anything, i just wish it ended differently. oh well.

I really enjoyed your first story which showed great promise with prolific output but I will not waste my precious time reading this thanks to the comments which all sound pretty honest to me.

You have the capacity to carve your own niche on this site and own it but you have apparently abandoned that prospect. Perhaps you have been influenced by other writers on this site, few of which have your actual talent, who find these kind of endings necessary to prove a twisted reality. Some like WickedWendydru who openly advocate to make their readers bleed may have led you to choose a different path for your characters and their story but that is what the readers have objected to.

Think again how to be true to your own vision and maybe you can salvage this and your future stories of which I hope you write many.

In my personal opinion, this story should be a love story with a happy ending. However the author's intent was to show the fluidity of open relationships based on love. Putting aside my opinion, the ending could still hold with a little rewriting if more connections were made between the idea the author wanted to get across and the building of Nick and Pete's relationship. For instance, rementioning Imre amd Karvaly would've helped contextualise what the end relationship was going to be. Also, instead all of one-on-one dates between the two and a honeymoon period at school, along the way there should have been a nice threesome, or a scene where Nick, Pete and Josh all bond and flirt. If porn was part of Nick's character and he enjoyed it, then he should've given Pete a magical porn experience instead of shutting him out and acting as thoygh he were ashamed of it. They could've spent idle time playing a harmless game of 'check out this chick' or spent time devising hypothetical group sex to ease the way for the ending. The point is, the ending can work but the character development needs adjusting toward that goal instead of a romantic committed storyline.

That said, I still think the author should perhaps consider that his unintentional romantic story was a happy accident and go with it til the end instead of forcing a point of view that doesnt really fit. Go with the flow, write the perfect happy ending and complete the emotional journey and save the open relationships point of view for another time :) its good to write all kinds of stories, even the ones we never meant to write :)

By the way, interesting to know that I wasn't the only one who had a physical reaction to the ending :)

These comments are intense (and very constructive if I may say so myself). Unfortunately, I have to agree with some of the other commentors when it came to the ending. I can see (if I squint my eyes and turn my head sideways) how it could've fit because it seemed you'd started that way from the get-go (Pete seeing the two foriegners loving each other but still knowing that they would marry women). But you didn't stay that way for very long. Instead we were set up (at least I was set up) to believe that they could be together without a label, or maybe not be together and split and marry women, but what we were given seems really random. I also don't believe Pete was completely blameless here. I mean, he was intimate with Josh in retaliation to what Nick was doing to him. Revenge just didn't fit here. Despite this I find myself a fan of your writing style and how you built the characters and the plot. It was excellently executed (whoop whoop alliteration!). Looking forward to more of your stuff!

I've read it before, and truly enjoyed this story when you first posted it there, and you probably expected the kind of comments about the ending here, you're brave!

(>_o)

----- I didn't like the ending, not before, not now (Seems random, or sudden) but hey!, It's your story, you know what you liked for pete and nick ----

Am I the only one who doesn't find the ending strange? Who has the Josh character been since the beginning of the story? A man who uses his body to get what he wants/needs out of life be it through modeling, taking his shirt off, or bending over? Therefor, why is it so strange that he would continue this type of behaviour through the end of the story? Because he has fallen in love with Pete? What does one have to do with the other? It's like saying porn stars don't have the capacity to love because they sexually perform in front of an audience.

From the beginning this story hasn't been about monogamy, it has been about free love! An intimate love that best friends can share in a foreign land that is no less strong because each shares the knowledge that they will eventually meet and fall in love with a woman in the future. I think Pete's aversion to this idea is like that of many- we only see love in terms of one. One man, one woman, one partner, one lover, one husband, one wife, one mistress. :) Yes, Pete blindly trusted Josh at the end and Josh let him remain in the dark, but you know what? Pete hadn't even realized Josh had been "performing" the previous week because the intensity of Josh's love had not changed... Doesn't that say something? I agree that Pete's act of revenge was a reaction but he wasn't coerced into it, he actually enjoyed himself! Was he then a little less in love with Josh? I don't think so.

I contend that Pete is following Josh for most of the story, but I don't think he's a sheep for doing so and being okay with their arrangement at the end. An open relationship works for some couples and it doesn't make the love of the core couple any less so. Maybe in a hypothetical part two Josh and Pete are just happy together in monogamy, or Pete decides that he isn't okay with sharing, OR maybe Josh no longer wants to share and Pete does!!

Love doesn't follow one path, and as I said in my previous comment it is an imperfect happily ever after...

And, why is it "imperfect"? Because people are imperfect, life is imperfect, love is imperfect...

Oops! I meant to say I find the ending "not strange" in my comment above!

Mea culpa. :)

What a crushing ending for me...maybe your next story. *cries more*

.....um im sorry but come the fuck on are you serious? Beautiful story up until the AWFUL ending look im not saying every story has to have a happy ending but you could hav written that soooo much better did you get bored with the story and just went fuck it let me ruin this? oh my god im sorry but that was a complete dissapointment look im not trying to be mean and say this story is shit this is constructive critism but that ending is shiiiiiittttttttttt you have an amazing talent for writing i could see that from page one and that why this is so awful this is beneath you and im sorry you dont see that

but w.e i look forward to whats next for you

-9

good story, a little unsure with the ending. Didn't hate it, good writing. Maybe you're setting up for Josh & Pete to get together later in life?? Mmmmmm. Love your use of the word "porny"!!!!!!

As I was nearing the end, I must say, especially after reading your first story, that I fully expected an about face between the characters, and have Pete end up with Josh. I'm glad that DIDN'T happen, but I wish the story had simply ended several pages and plot twists earlier, BEFORE Josh joined the plot line. That twist just left me frustrated.

I know relationships are complicated & messy, but all too often, people read & escape into these stories because they WANT it to end with the happily ever after. And this one just ended with a 'happy enough'. And your first story (beautifully written), ended up with everyone but the protagonist happy.

Your writing style is truly engaging. I grew attached to your main characters, felt what they felt, but I hated the endings.

There are times when it simply feels like those around me just don't have their heads screwed on straight...why I wonder do we insist that everyone accept our own personal preferences (kinks and all) yet get all upset and bitchy when a story we're reading...on a website which seems (to me atleast) to embrace any and ALL sexual preferences...doesn't end the way we expect. There are those in this world who aren't ever going to fit into the tight neat little box of one and only forever. Be it "playtime" as Nick calls it or something more emotional just because a relationship doesn't involve only 2 people doesn't make it less of a relationship or the love those people share anything less. If you don't like the ending folks go read something else or suck it up and try to expand you point of view. Or am I the only one who got the whole point of taking a repressed little boy and turning him into a man who accepts all his personal needs the pleasures life has to offer him as well as the needs and pleasures of the one he loves.

I enjoyed this story from the beginning. I thought you did a great job of character development and there was humor. It was a great trip with characters who grew. The end didn't leave me as satisfied as I hoped. I just don't think I believe that Pete can be okay with sharing Nick with anyone, male or female. That's great lip service that the sex with girls would be just physical and that with Pete it's love, but it's still that like Pete said, he isn't enough for Nick. Pete is clearly a monogamous person while Nick is a polyamorous or whatever you want to call it. I just don't buy that it will be enough for Pete. I guess I felt like they were still one slip from broken up. I felt Pete would work better with Josh in the end b/c Josh would want to be with only him. Aside from that feeling about the very end...the rest was a wonderful story and I was very impressed with it. Thanks.

Will you calm down? Like seriously, what the fuck is your problem? People are allowed to voice their opinions without your nasty attitude nipping at them. The main issue is not that they had an open relationship because that was set up from the beginning, but that that message got lost somewhere in the storyline and we were led to believe Pete and Nick were going to maintain a monogomous relationship. I can't say that I am perfectly fine with them sleeping with other people, again I don't believe we were prepared for that, but I do know that 4 or 5 pages in we knew that was going to be the moral of the story. It's HOW it happened that's the problem. The ending was rushed, Pete and Nick didn't really address the cheating issues, and the whole thing was kinda empty.

I mean they've never had sex (Pete and Nick) in the Bill Clinton explanation sort of way. And if they can get their jollies elsewhere without getting emotionally attached outside of this relationship...

It works, I mean sometimes getting physical just brings in a whole another level and set of issues that they're not ready nor prepared for. They have an open relationship, and maybe later, somewhere down the line it might change, but right now... It works. Different strokes, for different folks.

The story is beautiful and well crafted but the ending is a major disappointment. Perhaps you intend it to be a metaphor for the lack of happy endings in real life but I might have been less disappointed myself if the story had not been fifteen pages long. In the future I'll read the endings of your stories first to decide if I want to invest the time and emotion in the whole story.

the story it´s lovelly, but the ending does live much to desarie... we all love happy ending and I agree with some of the coments how can they know there not enough for each other if the haven´t had sex all the way...

And way don´t they really talk to each other and tell it how it is?

You know i think there should be a second part were all it´s cleare, cause PETE desurves better way better than a half realtionship even if it is with a hot way... like someone sade maybe JOnnhy or some one else...

HOPE YOU CONSIDER A SECOND PART and hope to read some other stories from you because the 2others i like better

I'm kind of with everyone else about the ending, but that said, I can see what you're trying to get at with the open relationship but I did thing you rushed the culmination of it. Your construction and character development is excellent and I really did enjoy it! Controversial, but great! X

I really liked the story alltogether, even the kind of heartbreaking "good, but not really happy" ending. It's different, a verbal slap in the face of romance, and surely not something I anticipated. Sometimes a little heartache is a good thing to get out of a story.

Loved the story--and I'm fairly amused by the comments. My biggest objection to the plot was the point where Nick tried to hide his online "modeling" job from Pete. Relationships are unique and no one can say what will or won't work for someone else...as long as the two people involved are open and honest with each other. Lying is the one thing that can destroy the trust that is the foundation of a relationship.

Now I get it. These weren't four separate stories they were just parts from a novel. Your story is very good and well written but far, far too wordy for this venue in my opinion.

Staring at a laptop screen for hours on end with a stiff cock isn't that much fun I found out.

I didn't care for the ending of "Fireflies" but I understand it, having read these four in reverse order because I didn't realize that they were all from the same 'book', I see how the ending fits in.

One thing your stories have taught me is to check the length BEFORE I start reading. For myself, a four part story such as this should be printed and bound into a book. It's just too much to read on a computer screen or to print out from the PC.

I give you 5 stars for the story and 1 star for making it too long for this venue. Just my personal opinion.

Hmmm this story is good but I believe Pete deserves so much better than whatever the hell that Nick is giving him (perhaps he has commitment issues?). A possible candidate for Pete could be Josh or Nick can finally settle down, either or it would be nice to see Pete be devoted fully.

I was laughing out loud for the early part of the story. Nick was outrageous, and Pete's uptight reactions were hysterical. I was laughing almost constantly. You get a hint that there's more to Nick than meets the eye. Then the story took a dramatic turn with Nicks issues. Turns out Nick has a huge heart and hidden depths. Once they get to college Nick reverts back to being a shallow guy who needs to sleep around with women. I was really digging him until that, having Pete hook up with Josh was a total turnoff. I kinda stopped caring about either of them at that point. I was hooked all the way thru though, I just had to know what happened next. And after all that, they never actually fucked. Hmmm....

Well, I liked the first part where Pete is in denial and being teased by Nick and thing, after that it's kind of a mess...

Well done and very imaginative..

I loved this story--- all the way until the ending. I absolutely HATED the ending. I just can't understand the concept of supposedly being in love, yet needing to fuck other people. That is so stupid. That is NOT real love. It would be nice to see a continuation of this story, where Pete gets fed up with Nick getting with other people. I'm not trying to be mean or harsh, but I have to express my opinion. And my opinion is that this ending sucked. If they're truly in love with each other, then they should be enough for each other. I, for one, was hoping that Pete would demand exclusivity.

Again, I'm not trying to be mean. I loved the other two stories I read by you, Frat House Troopers and Cupid's Big Weekend.

I failed to mention in my first post that I think you are an amazing writer. Truly. You made me feel, which is always great when I'm reading something. I WANT to be able to feel the emotions of the characters. That is something I take into consideration when I form an opinion on whether or not a story is good.

In this story, I felt Pete's anxiety about being around naked people, and I felt his horror at enjoying what he saw Karaly and Imre doing with each other. I felt the love he and Nick shared. And I felt Pete's anger and feelings of betrayal when he found out that Nick had lied to him.

With that said, I still think that the ending sucked. I was also let down when Pete didn't confront Nick when he smelled the girl on him. As others have said, the ending in no way matched the rest of the story. And the whole revenge sex with Josh? It didn't flow very good with Pete's supposed feelings when he first heard Nick's voice on the computer. I mean, not for Pete. Pete just does not give off the revenge fuck vibe. And my heart literally stopped a second when Nick that Pete wasn't enough -- and then that Pete just accepted that. And then that Nick should be so accepting of it after that scene where he got jealous and asked if Josh was somebody he had to be worried of? When he threw the "only you" thing in Pete's face? Didn't fit either.

But I digress. You are truly an amazing writer. I love the fact that you made me feel. I also quite enjoyed that they were both straight until they fell in love with each other. Although, Pete seems to be more gay now, or at least bi, given his attraction to Josh. But again, you are a great writer. I look forward to reading more from you. In fact, I'm heading on over to Hope Among the Deserted right now.

P.S. Please don't be offended by anything I've written here or in my previous post. I meant it as purely constructive criticism. Happy writing!

The ending was sounding very hurried...all through the story, the love was evident between the protagonists...but the ending seemed like it was picked up from,a different story...nevertheless...amazing writing...also a word to soullesscynner...more stories plz...

:-)

enjoyed the the first 2/3 of the story but then at the end its as if you went offside on the whole thing. if you wanted to end it that way you shouldve incorporated it all earlier into the story so that it was believable i.e. nick's desires for a woman. but because you didnt, it kinda ruined the story. due to the messed up ending (and its because of how the ending seemed to belong to a whole different story with no relation to the first 2/3 of it whatsoever) i had to give it a 3 star as opposed to the 4/5 star that i intended to give earlier.

I loved most of the story, up until the ending. The characters went from a 10 (1-10 on needing each other) to suddenly slipping down to a 6 or 7...

I loved how the story grew and Pete & Nick needed each other, they were both what they were missing in life.

I think it would have been better ending when they got to school, sort of a "they lived hapily ever after" sort of ending. But the end they sorta... seemed to loose each other.

Your writing is spectacular though, I look forward to reading more submissions.

I think this story fits right into the romantic with a twist genre. I find this story representative of the state of love today. I'm not saying this is right or wrong, but arguably one can love one partner and still sleep with others without emotionally investing in these others as long as the main partner is aware. That's one couple's reality. Another couple's reality is there is no gray area, they are committed only to each other. Who's to say one way or the other if the strictly monogamous couple is any more in love than the open-relationship couple...

Like the author's first story, ALLF has sort of an imperfect happy ending. In a perfect world Pete's love would steer Nick onto the straight and narrow path of honesty and monogamy, however life nor love always convenient this way. Nick had already proven himself a liar and a slut, and Pete had been in emotional flux since the kiss. If it was the author's aim to blur the lines between what is straight or gay, or to question whether desire compromises love, or if love equals monogamy than I think he has done this. I think it's supposed to be jarring that Pete gets this bj at the end of the story considering his previous uptightness, but then he's finally giving into his own personal desire which is the point. I think he accepts Nick in the end, lies aside, because he (Pete) realizes that he doesn't love him any less after being with another guy (Josh)....

Like many others, I'd prefer there to be a "happily ever after" but I'm also realistic enough to know that for someone people, an arrangement like this works. But I wish there were an epilogue, something that gave the reader insight into how this relationship worked over the long haul. Does Nick realize he doesn't need women, does Pete get over his crush on Josh, etc.

You're a great writer and I look forward to reading more from you.

this is the longest story i have every read on here! im glad you made it long tho! awesome story 5 stars!

Great story as always, though i didn't much like the ending. The tension a little too unresolved for me. Besides, i hope you could write a story where Josh gets a happy ending. Please do continue showing off your mad skills... writing for Literotica :)

I wish we could hear more about these guys. Will they be able to live in an open relationship for ever?

I have deleted this comment 5 times already, as i wanted to make sure i explained my thoughts correctly. I am so glad that you put in words and explained how labels can confuse and hurt people.Humans are just sexual and one shouldn't put a label on ones sexuality at all. Its all a matter of degrees.We are not all to be pigeonholed.

Your writing is exceptional,the plot and story had great flow. The tension you built was felt. The ending I was not ready for and to be honest ruined a beautiful story for me. I felt it in my stomach. i guess that's a good thing for you as a writer, but it wasn't good for me. I don't know how better you could have prepared me for that, i dint pick up the clues you wound in there. it din't seem right to me at the end and really i dint expect that in the least. I know there are a whole lot of different relationships in this world, and the HEA does not always exist. It just felt empty after all that beautiful beginning in story.

I thank you for writing, thank you for sharing with us. I await your next story.

J~

First let me start by saying that I really liked this story – if not I could never have finished all 15 pages, but like some of the other who commented I must admit that the ending did not feel right for me.

The vibe I was getting towards the end was actually that they were drifting apart and not really right for each other (mostly as they both seemed more interested in them selves than the other). And Josh did seem like an obvious second boyfriend for Pete. It would have made perfect sense to me if this was a story about two young men who fell in love and helped each other in a time where no one else could. I don't think their love would be less important or beautiful if they came to an agreement to move separate ways after some time; after all it is a small minority that find their life partner so early. For me this would also fit the title nicely as their love was short and intense like fireflies.

A HEA could have been nice too, but for me it would only be believable if the the story after Pete helped Josh had focused more on the relationship of Pete AND Nick and not just on Pete.

Ultimately I guess I just did not believe they actually faced their problems, but rather pushed them under the carpet, and so I feel sure their relationship will be filled with them tripping over that bump in the carpet...

I really really loved the Frat House Troopers story, and I feel what you accomplished there was moving the characters closer together throughout. In this story they moved closer until they suddenly said – oh well whatever; we will fuck others when we like. All the emotions that I so loved in the rest of the story suddenly forgotten, making me feel slightly cheated.

I hope you can use what is meant as constructive criticism, as I do really like your writing and enjoyed most of the story very much indeed!

Looking forward to reading your future submissions as I think you have a gift for creating a mood and good characters =D

Awesome story! But.. like many others.. I felt that the ending wasn't really an "ending"! >.< I wished there was more, there is always the lingering question if both Nick or "Rick" and Pete could have an exclusive relationship.. and not have Pete running around doing other women! Even though they say that they love each other, the feeling I get is that Pete will always love Nick more than Nick loves him. D:

I read your story again and that is a commitment to read like 150 Word pages. Anyhow, I came across it again and began reading and it was as good as the fist time. I love the humor you put into it. I laughed outloud many times. I loved some of the deeper conversations they had too.

The ending was the only part I couldn't remember. I just agree with the other comment about it being unresolved. I thought Nick would admit that it wasn't worth being with women when he realized it wasn't as great as he thought. If not they'd not make it. Because I didn't buy that Pete would agree to an open relationship even if it meant just for sex. Could he accept the internet thing? Yea I think so. But, I don't think they could last always if there wasn't that monogamous thing for Pete. I also was surprised they didn't have sex.

I'd love to see you write more. You're very talented.

cannd

I really like what you did here to challenge stereotypes about sexuality. There were many things about this story that frustrated me as I was reading it, and I went on a whole roller coaster of emotions on how I felt about this story and the portrayal of the characters in it. Now, having finished it, it makes me really think. I have firmly believed for many years that sexuality and gender are as diverse as personalities, and that for most individuals sexuality and gender change and grow as their personalities change and grow. A lot of the stories that I find on Literotica, while totally hot, fail to challenge stereotypes the way you have done here. Thank you for that!

I haven't read "... Fireflies" completely yet, but getting there as fast as I can. In my opinion (for what it's worth) this author is GIFTED. Truly Awesome! And totally entertaining. Few can put words in print with such magnetism to pull readers "into a story" with strong a strong attachment and feelings for the characters, plot and situations. This is Life, as it often is - not like you expect, or want it to be. Individuals have options to some times control/influence a current situation, but life imposes too many "UN-controllable" influences for expectations to rarely ever achieve reality.

To that I'd like to post what I feel are relevant comments from another author. Since these words were posted on an internet blog regarding "HEA" in Romance novels, I hope I'm not infringing on her personal rights. I support, and subscribe to her posted views. Her comments give credit to "... Fireflies" last few segments - which MAY NOT the End. Only in print, and fireside chats can a fictional story END.

Author Jennifer Crusie:

I think romance novels, like any genre stories, must provide a reader with catharsis at the end, and that catharsis is usually found in a "just" ending; that is, characters get what they deserve. The bad guy gets punished, and the good guys get the happiness they've been striving for because they've suffered and grown and struggled. But a "just" ending can also mean a "sadder but wiser" ending (like Scarlett O'Hara's) or a noble sacrifice ending (like the one in movie Sommersby) or a "pick-up-the-pieces-and-go-on" ending in which it's clear the characters will not have perfect, easy lives thereafter, but are better off because of the struggles they've won and the life lessons they've learned.

So if HEA means a perfect marriage with perfect children in the offing, no, absolutely not, the romance doesn't require this. But if HEA means all the pressing problems solved with hope for the future and a feeling of personal achievement and of justice served for both the characters and the reader, then, yes. Romance doesn't admit despair at the end, nor does it posit the world as a cold, cruel, chaotic place. It offers hope, salvation and order through connection with others (not just the romantic connection with the hero). That's why it's so popular.

Views re: HEA; Even the happiest endings meet new walls to climb or apparent dead ends. Perhaps a firefly doesn't realize its little piece of 'tail', in their shot lifespan (in our eyes) is complete and ends when the light goes out. The memories of their beauty and unique ability linger on for the influence they can have on those who notice them, even if they are from other cultures. Few can write about such emotionally moving words stimulated by a bug; crafted by a wordsmith.

It was a beautiful story up until the last page. I like happy endings and would've preferred to see Nick decide to be exclusive with Pete, especially after his tryst with the last girlfriend was so disappointing and had him wondering about it. I can certainly understand Pete's anger and sadness at the the Nick/Rick problem since NIck wasn't honest about it. I guess I just don't understand how two people can love each other like Nate and Pete do and be willing to have sex with others they don't love. But for the story to just end on that note seemed like a cheat.

I really would like to read a sequel to ALLF. I gues I'm just a huge fan of H.E.A. even though it doesn't happen most of the time in real life. But it seems as if Nick and Pete could work it out together. Pete was only with Josh because he was hurt and, like the previous Anon. said, Nick seems like he's almost ready to give up women.

The story was awesome until the last couple pages. Nick should get kicked to the curb and Pete should end up with Josh, or someone else who's remotely worthy. I know these sorts of relationships work for some people, but it just seems so unrealistic. I was hoping to see a happier ending, but now I'm thinking a sequel would be great.

I love the story, but after that ending, I want to kick Nick's ass and slap some sense into poor Petey. I just don't like Nick as a character and the situation with him and Peter, just seams unlikely with Peter's character type. Pete being very insecure as it is, just makes the ending a bit unbelievable and would probably work well with a sequel of those two characters. However, the story was fun to read and other than wanting Nick to stay faithful to Pete, I would say the story was a job well done.

There weren't a whole lot of grammatical errors so reading was made easy except for a few of the dialect sections. Other than that, the writing, along with the story, was done pretty well. Keep writing! I enjoy all of your stories and look forward to reading more. I hope you don't mind my criticism too much.

Omggg I just love how some stories end up connected even in the smallest sense. Nick from Str8 Frat Dudes that kissed Ethan! How exciting!

Although, I kind of agree with everyone saying Nick should have ended up exclusive with Pete. Or Pete should have ended up with Josh, or someone deserving.

But I enjoyed the story either way :)

I agree with Jay_B1969.

It was great until the end, which totally turned me off. The writing is great, though. Just wish Nick wasn't so..blah. Loved it in spite of his attitude.

was loving it until that awful ending

i hope you have a sequel planned where this all gets resolved with either Nick realising that he will lose Petey if he continues sleeping with girls or that they drift apart and Petey and Josh end up together - a storyline where they indulge in a foursome with Calvin and Reese

i was really loving it until the end):

I know that Frat House and Hope used some of the same characters, but it wasn't until I read comments that I learned that this Nick and Pete were the same as in Frat. Very well done, although I didn't like the ending here- but it makes sense in a wider scheme of things.

Read all the comments here... If you take this story as a single entity, yeah it sucks for Nick and Pete that they don't have a complete HEA :(

But it isn't the end... Nick's story continues in Frat House Troopers which takes place at the end of his freshman college year, and he's still with Pete, still denying he's gay and he and Pete seem okay with the arrangement... So it's all good...

Thats a horrible pitiful end, you just made Pete bloody pathetic and demeaned their 'so called' love. Didn't work, sorry.

After reading your latest Cupid story with Josh, I read this one over again. Didn't comment last time I read it but wanted to this time.

I know from Frat house troopers and Cupid Sophmore that Pete and Nick are still together but I think they need to get their issues resolved. Being a hopeless romantic makes me want to see them happy. I hope you write another sequel in the future with Pete and Nick as main characters and we can see them move past their issues.

:)

I've read all your stories and your writing is incredible! I especially like the fact all your stories remind the reader that sexuality is no longer "black and white;" and sexy is sexy no matter what is your orientation, at least for people whose consciousness is raised. I'm a heterosexual female (not confused or uncertain about that) but your stories are far more romantic and sexy than any hetero story I've ever read. Thanks for your works.

Before we lose this story as well, I just wanted to say how awesome I found it. And having read Frat House Troopers (now gone for publication, congratulations with that) and met Nick there before this story, I did not find the ending so weird and bad as most other readers who have commented here.

To me the relationship was still developing and both of them were unsure how it would work out. They were not even 'out' as a couple - Pete calling Nick his boyfriend when talking with Josh appeared to be the first time he used that word. So why do people get so upset about Nick thinking about women and Pete thinking about other men (which he not only did with Josh but also when he went to change the room assignment). Of course the next step, having sex with someone else is more dangerous to their relationship, but the real danger is getting emotionally involved with another person - or lying and not talking about these issues.

In the end, what matters is that they agree on what the rules are, and that they love and respect each other. So my only problem with the ending is that you never got around to showing how that happened - and I know that it did from reading Frat Troopers, plus there were subtle hints in the story itself, like Nick not really enjoying having sex with the girl. But if you get to make this story into a book together with Frat Troopers, then I hope you have the chance to elaborate on this issue. Anyway, thanks for sharing your writing with us and please kep us posted about where to get hold of your published stories.

You are so sweet! Thank you for your comments--I really appreciate hearing from people who get what I was trying to do in this story. And please don't worry about the rest of my stories disappearing! I used "Frat House Troopers" for a transition to professional publishing, and (fingers crossed!) I'll be able to publish new work as well as continue to add to the story lines I've developed here. It's important to me that my college stories remain free and accessible to anyone, for reasons that are probably clear to all. Thanks again for your note.

~xm

There is no need to explain xm. Any time someone from Lit gets published, it's a plus for all of us writers. My only regret is that I didn't know you were pulling FT or I would've read it again before it disappeared.

congratulations... Well done.

i read all your stories, and i could say your one of the best writers in this site, in terms of plot, story execution, composition and use of realistic approach. I really like the style of your writing. But i noticed,

from all your stories,this is the only ending that has many loose ends unlike your other submissions. I would like to know if there would be a continuing chapter of this story to tie up the loose ends. But overall, its a fantastic story series

again, congratulations and thank you, i have so much fun reading

-stan o.

The story was great, very well written as usual, and I love all your work.

The ending was.... disappointing (I found). I mean Pete just leaves Nick for a guy who popped up a couple chapters ahead? The end seemed very rushed to me.

I'll stay tuned for more of your work.

i was cheering for nick and pete the whole time great story

People, if you've read xaviermayne's stories, you will realize that Pete and Nick stay together, however unconventional their relationship is. They're in Frathouse Troopers and Cupid' Sophomore Year, Sem. 1.

I'm really excited to announce that Frat House Troopers, my most popular story ever on Lit, has been published by Dreamspinner Press, in both e-book and paperback formats. Nick is a central character in the book, and I think you'll like the hijinks that boy gets up to!

I've appreciated so very much the encouragement I've received from the Literotica community, and I hope you will consider buying my first actual book.

More info and links to order the book are here: http://xaviermayne.com/?p=81

I really liked it. I mean it was great but I just didn't like the ending. Love means sticking with that one person. In the Cupid ones I get the Reese and Caleb include him but they do love him. Nick shouldn't need the other women

Loved your story! I related to it because the 1st guy I fell in love with was named Nick, and he "needed" to sleep with women to but i had a different reaction then Pete did. I literally had knots in my stomach when Nick crawled in bed and Pete could smell the girl. Been There! Awesome story! Im about to read more of your work just because I loved this one so much!!!

I really liked the story and Xaviermayne's stuff is always so funny, love it. Buuuuut, I disliked the ending as well. I know there are people in the world who live like this, but I believe in monogamy, so I couldn't reconcile with it.

i feel slightly like i wasted an evening.

the build up was great, the characterisation excellent and the exploration of sexual labeling and confusion both profound and interesting. but then the ending goes and cheapens it all. it seems a little like it was rushed. it just didn't fit with the rest of the story.

also... what country were they supposed to be in at the beginning? you could have picked one, sooo american. Turkey would be the closest match for the sort of bathhouses you described. also, you cannot spend a whole day feeding lambs on a farm... which is less important but still frustrating. more research required dude.

I loved this for about 12 of the 15 pages, and a tiny part of me wishes that i hadn't finished. i have no problem with the characters having a stable open relationship, but that should have taken longer than one small conversation to work out. not cool.

At chapter 12 I was going to cheat and rush to the end I so wanted Nick to come around or Pete to find himself. I didn't though. Did not like the ending at all. The build up was so awesome I wanted them together but if they weren't that would be okay cause self discovery does that. You don't always end up where you think. We all choose what we take and give in a relationship and I know this is your story but the idea that a partner would say that the other person just isn't enough for him hmmm. Nah , I feel like you let your characters down. Like they should be better than how they ended up..

Great till the end! End was awful!

The story was great right up to the last 2 pages and then it turned to shit. I don't understand...what happened to Nick who took care of Pete when he got drunk? what happened to Suicidal Nick facing life without Pete? And now Pete's committed relationship turned 'OPEN' with .Pete getting Josh? Terrible ending.

I really enjoyed going through this story and learning more about the characters. The plot line was strong and easy to follow with amazing characters. However, after finishing, I have this huge knot in my stomach. I know they truly love each other but the whole ending just doesn't sit right with the rest of the tale. You are an amazing writer that definitely pulls the reader in.

*sigh* ah,well... it's a good story and it took me a day to finish, but the ending kinda makes me want to strangle somebody...

So Nick fucks women when he wants, and Pete agrees... and Nick is somewhere close to, if not really, a porn star. And Pete is... fine with that.

I don't know what to think! Really this seems like a one way road to a break up but... I don't know. The pessimistic and optimistic sides of me are fighting each other and no one's winning.

Everything about this story was amazing... except for the ending, which you can probably already tell from all the other comments. But keep trying! It helps to wrap up a story well if you reread it from beginning to end with a reader's perspective.

this is an amazing love story that suddenly went to crap. frankly, it would have been better if Nick had " learned his lesson" after screwing that girl that he just needed pete. the open relationship ending just ruined the story. too bad. maybe an alternate ending could be written? would love to see Nick and Pete's love conquer all. and maybe nick's family could have left him some money so he could quit prostituting himself for college money. just a suggestion.

Beautiful story and I get the ending- it had to be like that for theother cupid stories. But maybe Nick learns at some point?

Until the end.

rather disappointed with it to tell the truth. Seemed really rushed

Great writing and gorgeous story.

I love this story. i must of read this story about 12 times. You should really think of publishing. or putting it up on goodreads. Readers would love to read this.

Finally finished this story, which I've been avoiding because of the comments, but I've read the other xaviermayne works so often I had to come back!

I think the problem may be, not that the characters enter an open relationship (which, ok, not for me, but I hear there are happy ones out there) but that it's so emotionally wrenching. First Nick drops the bomb that he's gotta have women and I was all ??? because I thought the point was that love is love and the couple were all about the being in love with the person and not the parts and now all of a sudden Nick's all about the parts again? And then Pete seemed like he was having sex with Josh for revenge. And that scene was so near the end that there was really no recovering from that, for me.

But, on the bright side, at least Josh got saved for Clark :-) So there's that.

....the next part of this story..."Nick 'learns'".

But hated the ending....

It just didn't feel finished or real at the end. I was thinking of purchasing your other stories but not sure now after how this one ended.

Great story, but heartbreaking ending. I can't help but wonder what would happen if Pete didn't want to be treated like he wasn't enough? Another suicide threat from Nick? Not very romantic, but certainly true to life since we've all, unfortunately, known some Nicks.

I had read this before, but I wish i'd remembered the ending. I really didn't like it. Pete wasn't okay with being in an open relationship. He did what he did out of anger. He's being forced to accept that b/c he loves him. Nick didn't have a good time with that girl, yet he wants to have the ability to do it. I was disappointed, but overall a good story.

I loved almost all of the story except for the end. Seriously WTF? No way Pete would or should put up with that crap from Nick. I love you but I still want to sleep with women. Really! Well, F you Nick! I am pissed! Please tell me that this is the mindset of bisexual men and not gay men. If you love someone, you don't sleep with ANYONE else, male or female. Sorry, I really loved all your work, but this ending has me spitting nails!!!!!

I loved this story, it was wonderful but I understand why it's not listed as hot and why the score is lower. The ending is disappointing perhaps because it's closer to real life than we readers want to acknowledge. There's a maxim about falling in love with bisexuals and it's that they'll never really be true to you. A lot of bisexuals think it's not cheating if they're fucking the opposite sex but it's heartbreaking for gays who are looking for total commitment. Stay away from bisexuals and those who still think they're straight but just experimenting. They'll break your heart every time.

I've read three of your beautiful, well writtened stories and they all left a sting in my heart because you made the endings so incomplete.

This story left so much quesrions like when Pete found out that Nick was on some chaturbate site and then they just kiss and make up?WTH And what about Pete's sexuallity issue does he actually find it in the end, no one knows becuase you didn't finished it. How about Nicks hunger for women? Does it end? Does he finally settles for Pete and marries him? Do they even finish college together?? What about josh and diggler's story how does it end?? I FREAKING WANT TO KNOW!!!

I know your now a published author but why did'nt you picked this story up and made this in to a legitimate novel. Theres so much potential to this and I feel that this story just been left out to rot.