All Comments on 'Making A Devil Out Of Me'

And still a pushover.

Get an editor! Your girlfriend gains weight, unless you're a jerk and are late for dinner and make her wait.

This guy is still a total pussy. "You think of me as your accountant. No sex for a week!" And he only got it once a week anyway? Come on. This is the nonconsent section. There is no excuse for him not pinning his girl down right there and taking her. And he's completely whipped. When asked about being a kinky couple he gives her whatever answer he thinks she's looking for, and is thrilled he passed the test. Good grief! Drop the bitch! If you can't talk to your girlfriend about basic things you'd be interested in the bedroom, the relationship should've been over a long time before.

This story is in the foot fetish section and though that may be there was only one encounter of foot fetishism. Other wise I think the pace was well, but if added a bit more elements to make it......come together, this story would be a lot better. Keep it up.

en_extase is a better writer than you are. Next time you want to steal someone's idea, then trash them afterwards, pick a writer whose work you can improve upon.

A re-write. more like a rip off. Well I don't like your version at all! Go find your own idea for a story

come on who lets their girlfriend dictate sex to them? and its planned every sunday? who would do that?

I would have to disagree, I thought your character seemed like an even bigger push-over, and for this story to work, he has to be on some level.

All things considered I would have to say I found the original to be a better story. Though there are elements of that story that didn't quite work for me, I really enjoyed it.

I definitely understand the urge to attempt a rewrite of a story like that, I always found that a story never quite fit my personal fantasy, and that's what drove me to begin writing my own as well.

I think your criticism of the character in the original story was unnecessarily harsh.

I personally don't like the whole foot thing, but it didn't take me out of the story too much. I definitely preferred the ending involving him being caught in the act by his girlfriend, that was an element I had hoped to see in the original.

I think your story would have been better had you taken a more original approach to it overall, only taking a few elements from the story, and working them into something new. The events were far too similar, and in my opinion, were not done as well as the original story.

I read your version and what I take from it is the tension and hidden seduction is completely missing. That area of your writing needed more development. The original gave me the tension and suspense and her ultimate success in seducing her interested, but reluctant customer.

One other area...you credited the original author as you should have, but please don't put down the work. You should have just said you wanted to add your own spin to the original.

First: Get an editor. Or at least learn how to proofread. I mean jesus, dude.

Second: en_exstace is eons better than this. They understands that the largest erogenous zone is the brain. Your version has no subtlety, no build-up, no tact.

Third: Even if you feel the need to re-do someone's story, for the love of all that is classy and right, do NOT explain it after the fact by calling them out. Unless you're asking for a comparison, which based on your level of writing of eroticism, you should not. Ever.

This isn't bad. I preferred the original, but this provided wanking material as well. I do have to say that "dark pooper hole" made me laugh and pretty much ruined the hole thing.