To Rise Again Ch. 01

Intriguing

This has a lot of intriguing twists and plots to uncover. You have me hooked can't wait to see and read the next chapter.. One thing I thought Raivyn was the girlfriend, who ran off not his daughter.
No one, who is not the mother, which I assume by him calling her his girlfriend, she is not, can disappear with a child... Can't wait to see what your next chapter holds for us.. keep going No too long though hehe

Lots of men don't know their rights

I thought bitch-gf was Raivyn's mother, but that doesn't give her the right to disappear. If River has been supporting the girl, she shouldn't be able to do that.

Good start!

I'm looking forward to reading more of this story.

Great start!

Oh my, I see the tags say non-human! Yay! Love the start and can't wait to see where you go with this. Sounds like the boss isn't the ass I first thought he was!

OOOOO

Oh yeah, I think this one is gonna be a good one. Then we i get to the end and see that the Tags say non-human.. I just about got up and did a happy dance. =D Great start!

Intriguing Start

You have a good plot hoook but your style was a little hard for me to read. You did some head hopping in the first section between River and Mr. Addison and your mix of third person intimate style, both telling us what they are thinking in narration and then using single quotes for specific internal dialogue, seemed awkward.

I would like to see more of this story, find out where it is going. I hope the boss finds out where Raivyn is and helps River find her and I want to see what happens at the banquet. River seems quite sure it won't go well for him, which I get since I hate crowds myself. I hope you continue to write the story, the non-human aspect has me intrigued as well.

PLEASE continue this!

Thank You

I want to say thank you to those of you that have voted and left me comments already. I promise that there is so much more to come. I am going to try to get a new chapter out about every 2 weeks. I hope that you will stick with me as the story unfolds.

>.

First... I really enjoyed how it started, I'm assuming that is a poem and it is awesome xD Really like how this is lay out, not much info yet but a good start!! Can't wait to see more of it!

Good start -

don't know if I can wait 2 weeks between chapters... :o) a little longer chapters, a little quicker on posting - and I'll be good to go ;o)
Again good start - keep up the good work.

I enjoyed the chapter. I esp liked how Eithan gave no hint of any desire for River until the last sentence. I only would ask if Rayven is his daughter? YOu never say.

I'm intrigued. More please. :)

Good beginning..

I missed this chapter when it came out Squeeker78. it must have "squeeked" by me. lol, yeah i rolled my eyes too! anyway lord that Donavan is a bit of prick and our boy River needs to get a pair.okay we got us a story!So far so good, quite good for your first writing gig. you got my attention, i'm ready for the ride.

So far so good, very intriguing