by Vlinder_Fawn
This looks like it will be interesting. Please keep posting updates.
An ambitious story. The first instalment crams a lot of information, scenes, historical information into a short space. It feels like you either need to expand the length of the chapter or else cut down on the backstory to concentrate on the scenes that propel the narrative.
Geographical/historic information such a place names, would be better left in 'notes' section at the end of the chapter, as by inserting them in parenthisis with the story itself, breaks the flow of the narrative for the reader.
Keep backstory (exposition) to a minimum, let scenes carry the story - the old maxim of show not tell.
A promising start.
I will look out for the next chapter
I just discovered this story and I loved what I read so far. Can't wait to see were the vampires fit in this.
Thanks.