All Comments on 'Mr. E. (Over The Top)'

Over the top that is, kind of a karate kid meets Lexington Steele.

I sincerely enjoyed the storyline! It was a little out there, but who cares haha? It was interesting to read, the character build-up was definitely thorough, and I loved every minute of it. More "over the top" stories please! :)

This is a wonderful story. It was overdone a little but still remained believable. One thing I would say is that you need to work on your punctuation.

That, however, was not a problem. I find it hard to believe that this story made it through two separate editors with all the grammatical errors and misused words. I enjoyed reading it in much the same way I enjoy watching SyFy original movies, laughing at the mistakes and cheeziness. Can't really give it much of a score, but I did have fun reading.

...had spell-checked and edited this story. 3 stars.

and this is no exception. I do agree this work needs editing. It's more of a draft than finished work. However, few authors on this site are professionals. And, to concentrate on the errors and ignore the creativity and flow of the story reminds me of a third grad grammar teacher.

Considering the number of submissions, I think this story is remarkably good.

If we are to use other stories on Literotica as a measuring stick, then this story ranks at the top.

I do think that the ending felt a bit rushed. Also the end showing two of the characters in the story were the authors did not really add anything.

Perhaps dedicating more to building a romance at the end of the story would have would have ended things a little more smoothly.

It was like you rushed the characters getting together so you could show that Stan and Stacy were telling the story.

Just my opinion which granted is not worth a lot.

Thank you for the good read. Five stars from me.

Aside from general grammatical errors, typographical errors and omitted words, the biggest problem I have with this story is Mr. Wang. Apparently no one realizes that "Wang" is a Chinese surname. China and Japan are TWO separate countries; not the same at all.

Loved the reality twist at the end

Why did you add the final 5 paragraphs to a really entertaining story? Totally unnecessary to the story line. I agree with the comments about an editor or at least proof-reading.

Thanks for the writing

I laughed at that last part. When someone says explicitly that something is NOT true, it most likely is very, very much true.

i love you man...i was looking for a strong male character. found him.!! keep up d good work.

a manly Mary Sue. but i liked the story

But it was a lot of fun -

Who was psycho and who was normal - when dealing with the victims of brain damage it is hard to tell. (All teenagers are brain damaged)

Could it happen - it is just barely conceivable that most of it could happen or close enough for government work -

Did it - not likely -

But you gotta wish it might heh.

but not the delivery.

More story, same errors.

I am picturing a lemon (citreous) yellow, pine scented tree, hanging from a car rearview mirror.

Wow, if this was edited, your editors deserve to be shot. In terms of mechanics, it's some of the most atrocious writing I have ever read on this site.

Also, the content was sorely lacking in credibility. (Just for starters, a college freshman does not go to med school; you need a degree first.) This is somewhat forgivable since the piece was advertised as over the top, but my credulity is finite.

this story went well until the last five paragraphs. Those five paragraphs do not seem to connect with the rest of the story and as such don't make sense.

A good romantic tale but not particularly well written. Too many gramatical errors which cause one to pause while reading. I still gave it 5/5 because of the content and it's level of interest.

This is a good story. I chose to read this version as it was as you intended it. Yes, there were several issues of grammatical errors. They didn't detract from the story though. The only part I disliked was the 4th wall break ending.

I really liked this tale you did a really fine job of not only telling this tale but, I could visualize what you wrote. I could see what was written and in my mind all I cared about the characters and how what was going and how they interacted.

Over and over I see people who worry about grammar and not about the content. A grammatically correct story can be without merit and can be poorly written effort but, the Nit Pickers can say always say the grammar was correct.

I'd rather read a very good tale which makes me feel I've read something worth my time with some grammatical errors.

Why nit pik over grammar and not read the story.

Don't worry about them or their worries, if they are so concerned about grammar they probably aren't reading the story anyway. You wrote a very good Tale which I appreciated reading.

Thank You very much for your time and effort!

Could not finish.

Seriously gag worthy and over the top and into the gutter!

If you have editors you need to sack them - if not, you need to learn (a) how to spell and (b) how to punctuate.

I nearly screamed out loud at the number of times you put a question mark in the wrong place. Just so you know, the question mark actually follows the question, not the sentence/phrase containing the question.

See below.

(a) "How are you" Trent said? WRONG.

(b) "How are you?" Trent said. RIGHT.

Where hell do all of the grammar Nazi come from. To hell with a good story that makes sense. Write a piece of shit as long as you dot the I and cross all the T's like they tell you they Won't be happy. Your story is very good! Let them eat shit with a capital "S" and don't forget to Dot the "I".

Shut the hell up 04/02/17 you are just a damned grammar ?Nazi trying to tell people ?what to do??? You should open your own publishing company where people might give a damn about your thoughts and opinions?.???.

Yadda yadda yadda....wouldn't everyone go together on their class trip? Any that I have ever went on or heard about certainly did. What did the rest of the junior/senior class do in order to get up to Canada...hitchhike up or take their cars. What shit. But the pictures that were conviently lost of just our 3 characters then they will fly up on a private jet. Shit again. Can't read anymore of this childish shit! Gave it a 2.

I like you got ten pages with very little sex and appreciate your restraint of not having everybody fucking everybody. My only gripe is that Trent seemed to be a bit of a coward with his feelings toward Becky and forced her into looking like a bitch and caused her to go through things that he may have prevented her from. He should have man uped and just told her in high school and not run away like a coward or even allowed her to continue dating a asshole rapist. Sorry but that just seems like a coward. Overall good job and look forward to reading the rest and other stories.

IF both stories were read over the top would be understood. People who say this is a bad writing are jealous they didn’t or couldn’t write anything near as good! As we know writers sometimes get better with each writing and I hope you will too. I enjoyed this story and I don’t care about any flaws some wanted to try and point out, by bringing out any flaws only made them seem to be small minded jealous people wanting to hurt a better story teller.

Definitely OTT: a good way to spend a few idle moments, but marred by some awful punctuation and spelling errors.

Perhaps your editors need editing ? :-)

I prefer the longer version of this story. The scaled back version after reading the long version cuts out the finer details which adds to the story which makes it more of a complete story (to me).

I wish writers would would actually do research before writing anything.

Wang is a Chinese name, not Japanese! Lol.

Liked the writing style, but yet another "woman ignores/treats man poorly yet he persists & wins her in the end"

Disappointing

MC wasted half his lifetime chasing an ungrateful bitch...and he wanted to see her in a short little cheerleading outfit? Sorry but she had already given all the benefits to her douche of a boyfriend during high school. Talk about used goods lol.

5 stars. however, imo, it should have ended at "That my dear Trent remains my Mr. E.,"