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WOW! Alot of emotion brought out in this chapter. I love the contrast between the innocent love developing between Adriel and Chris (though it may happen more slowly for Adriel, I think he cares about Chris more than he's aware of) and the upheaval of rage and fear and pain in the village. Will Chris' brother be able to warn him? Will Chris' brother stand by him? I'm not sure about that. I hope the boys get away but I am wondering if they possibly can.
Like others, I thought the king was a monster when I heard what he did to his son but it was interesting that he made sure Adriel had a chance by not allowing Shia and her followers to get to him.
Please post again soon.
WOW
Very emotional. Definitley looking forward to the next chapter and seeing where this goes.
omg
i literally wait for yu to put mor chptrs to this story out....omg yu betta have somethin out soon, i live this story i hat cliffhangers, this is one of my favorite stories....omg i love it!
Yup
I see some bad times coming. But the villagers reactions really fits. Can't wait for the next chapter.
Oh wow I'm dying for more of this story. PLEASE HURRY!
Very Good.
Fear of the unknown is always a strong motivation for inhumane acts. Your writing has progressed over the course of the chapters. I can't wait to see more from you. Great job!
Moving Too Fast
As you foreshadowed all hell's breaking out. I enjoyed the juxtaposition between the love making and the hate making. I think I might believe the growing hate if it had longer to grow and fester. It would also add to the tension and make it more ominous.
I to question the way you introduce Shia. There really wasn't a need to interject the author into the story to give her a name. It's your story; just put her in without the "we'll call her Shia." It's one of those pov things that happened in a previous chapter.
All that said, I do enjoy the story and I fear for A and C.
Great story
But you use the word then when it should be than. I am sure somerone must have mentioned it before.
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