It was an interesting read. The revenge didn't do much for me. I also am not a big 'swinger' guy, but that is a personal preference, not a ding at the story.
I liked that the plot was slightly more complicated then 'a saint of a man has a wife who fucks the basketball team, but she REALLY loves him.'
I didn't waste my time on this at all. To use a baseball metaphor, call it a double.
Very nice change-up, JPB. My only quibble concerns Frank's reaction to his wife's pregnancy. She had literally JUST TOLD HIM that she had been screwing multiple partners. How could he NOT wonder about paternity?
Lots of holes in this one. First, it is inconceivable that all of Frank's associates were single and not in relationships. Thus, Chad, or Jerry, or maybe all of them were cheating just as much as Shirley, and happy to do so. With all that cheating going on, it is highly likely that someone would have caught on to what was going on, and Frank would have found out.
Second, if Frank had been cheating with his old flame from high school, and he confessed so readily during his "talk" with Shirley, then why didn't he admit this previously, when Shirley suspected him of cheating? Third, I agree with others that Frank would have wondered about paternity after hearing Shirley's confession.
And fourth, I have difficulty believing Shirley would get away with committing sexual assault on two different men, and both would keep quiet about it. Hospitals always disclose cases suspicious for assault to the police. Once the cops are on it, they keep going like pit bulls until they get answers. I really doubt she'd get away with it.
As jasonnh said in a prior comment, the plot was too formulaic. Wife is forgiven because hubby was cheating also. Wife believes "friends" over hubby's word. Wife gets off best with a very big cock. And the last part that strains credulity is that Shirley is OK with Frank's emotional attachment to another woman -- it wasn't just sex. She should react with anger and jealousy.
A happy ending of sorts, and it seems as if everyone is satisfied with how there life is going.
Alice and Jack were the people that I felt sorry for, until they hooked up. Alice will get to have that big cock of Franks now. She will probably thank Shirley a lot for finding Frank and his big cock.
All JPB's stories are formulaic but the worst sin of this one, as with most....
...is that save for the names there is no way to tell a difference in the behaviors or speech patterns of females and males. No women act or talk like this so what is the point of analyzing this ?
All your stories are predictable. Almost like you have a "pile" of paragraphs from which you arbitrarily select some number and paste them together. Key words would be "cuckold, wimp, cheat" and so forth. I must believe you truly have a hatred of the male sex in general combined with a deep seated contempt of husbands.
The best part of that story was that there was this husband out there, that we didn't really know too much about who was about to come home and find out that everything in his life was a lie. His wife, his friends, his child (well once he learned he was going to have one). I'm thinking that for most men in the world, this would be a pretty bad day in the way that stepping in front of a commuter train is a pretty bad day. Nice cliff hanger by the way. But in this chapter the husbands reaction is pretty much "so what." Which I will predict is going to leave most of your readers feeling exactly same way. No to be honest, I think my emotional reaction to being cheated by this so called second chapter of your story is actually a bit stronger than the emotions felt by the husband. And to be honest I'm not really even that peeved. I believe the technical term for this kind of story is a "shaggy dog tale." The way to avoid it is to examine what a pretty good writer here has said, which is "anybody can write a good beginning" and actually spend some thought on your endings. Also, you should be at least a bit embarrassed to post this chapter, considering how well Ohio ended your well begun "Ari" last week.
You may be getting better but i detect some of the deep depressed writings. please leave the LW category and go to erotic non erotic ramblings. Otherwise this was/is one of your better jpb type stories.
I am a poor writer who has problems putting two sentences together.
....explain to me how a married woman who screws another man can be a loving wife? Don't hand me the crap that a married person can love two people. WRONG! That is a crock of horse puckies. Bob, you are such a good writer. Why do you write these kind of stories? Better yet, why do I keep reading them? They just piss me off!
Thats a bullshit story. It could have had a better ending with more vengence and the complications of the new child born... but you never clarified if it was Franks child.
at the end of chapter one someone ask if she got away with it in chapter and yes she did there has to be more than one writer this story ending is not like the other cheating slut stories.
English
STILL WATER RUNS DEEP
OR DOES THE COVER CHANGE THE BOOK. ANOTHER JPB STORY. ENTERTAINING AND NEVER STEREOTYPICAL. TK U MLJ LV NV
The proof is in the eating
and JPB is a fine chef..
Some times he serves us stuff that we can not stomach, but it is well prepared...
If you keep writing them
I'll keep reading them, another good one.
Thanks
JPB you do write a good story. Thanks for the entertainment.Mike from Texas
Very nice indeed!
A most entertaining and, dare I say it, moral story; revenge is always a temptation but one better left unfulfilled.
By the way, if you ever find out how to do this, please let us know!
You are a fine writer and deserve every one of the 5 stars I have awarded this story.
Thank you.
No
This story sucked!
I gave it a four
It was an interesting read. The revenge didn't do much for me. I also am not a big 'swinger' guy, but that is a personal preference, not a ding at the story.
I liked that the plot was slightly more complicated then 'a saint of a man has a wife who fucks the basketball team, but she REALLY loves him.'
I didn't waste my time on this at all. To use a baseball metaphor, call it a double.
Not your usual, Bob!
Very nice change-up, JPB. My only quibble concerns Frank's reaction to his wife's pregnancy. She had literally JUST TOLD HIM that she had been screwing multiple partners. How could he NOT wonder about paternity?
errrr.......okay.......
I give it a 5-star. But let's face it: this story is a bit weird, and not necessarily very plausible (in terms of real life). Nicely written, though.
Be on words
What a waste of time.
Yep
What PTBzzz said.
Not my cup of tea
Lots of holes in this one. First, it is inconceivable that all of Frank's associates were single and not in relationships. Thus, Chad, or Jerry, or maybe all of them were cheating just as much as Shirley, and happy to do so. With all that cheating going on, it is highly likely that someone would have caught on to what was going on, and Frank would have found out.
Second, if Frank had been cheating with his old flame from high school, and he confessed so readily during his "talk" with Shirley, then why didn't he admit this previously, when Shirley suspected him of cheating? Third, I agree with others that Frank would have wondered about paternity after hearing Shirley's confession.
And fourth, I have difficulty believing Shirley would get away with committing sexual assault on two different men, and both would keep quiet about it. Hospitals always disclose cases suspicious for assault to the police. Once the cops are on it, they keep going like pit bulls until they get answers. I really doubt she'd get away with it.
As jasonnh said in a prior comment, the plot was too formulaic. Wife is forgiven because hubby was cheating also. Wife believes "friends" over hubby's word. Wife gets off best with a very big cock. And the last part that strains credulity is that Shirley is OK with Frank's emotional attachment to another woman -- it wasn't just sex. She should react with anger and jealousy.
as usual
another pathetic ending. long live jpb
Hell Yes! I thought the story was exciting
A happy ending of sorts, and it seems as if everyone is satisfied with how there life is going.
Alice and Jack were the people that I felt sorry for, until they hooked up. Alice will get to have that big cock of Franks now. She will probably thank Shirley a lot for finding Frank and his big cock.
A good story Bob, thanks for the read.
Part One
Maybe this should have ended after part one. The second part is too contrived to be pausable.
All JPB's stories are formulaic but the worst sin of this one, as with most....
...is that save for the names there is no way to tell a difference in the behaviors or speech patterns of females and males. No women act or talk like this so what is the point of analyzing this ?
Typical JPB story
All your stories are predictable. Almost like you have a "pile" of paragraphs from which you arbitrarily select some number and paste them together. Key words would be "cuckold, wimp, cheat" and so forth. I must believe you truly have a hatred of the male sex in general combined with a deep seated contempt of husbands.
really liked part one
The best part of that story was that there was this husband out there, that we didn't really know too much about who was about to come home and find out that everything in his life was a lie. His wife, his friends, his child (well once he learned he was going to have one). I'm thinking that for most men in the world, this would be a pretty bad day in the way that stepping in front of a commuter train is a pretty bad day. Nice cliff hanger by the way. But in this chapter the husbands reaction is pretty much "so what." Which I will predict is going to leave most of your readers feeling exactly same way. No to be honest, I think my emotional reaction to being cheated by this so called second chapter of your story is actually a bit stronger than the emotions felt by the husband. And to be honest I'm not really even that peeved. I believe the technical term for this kind of story is a "shaggy dog tale." The way to avoid it is to examine what a pretty good writer here has said, which is "anybody can write a good beginning" and actually spend some thought on your endings. Also, you should be at least a bit embarrassed to post this chapter, considering how well Ohio ended your well begun "Ari" last week.
a little more counceling
You may be getting better but i detect some of the deep depressed writings. please leave the LW category and go to erotic non erotic ramblings. Otherwise this was/is one of your better jpb type stories.
I am a poor writer who has problems putting two sentences together.
utter shite gtf and dont write no more cuckold shit in real life they woul;d have a bitter divorce
Everybody turns out to be losers....
For me it's difficult to like a story where eveyone turns out to be shit heads.
Like some one else said, I don't care any thing about the open marriage life style either.
Sending them on their separate ways might have salvaged it a little for me.
Missouri
Well I guess to call it a JPB type story would be accurate enough.
Can somebody please.....
....explain to me how a married woman who screws another man can be a loving wife? Don't hand me the crap that a married person can love two people. WRONG! That is a crock of horse puckies. Bob, you are such a good writer. Why do you write these kind of stories? Better yet, why do I keep reading them? They just piss me off!
DEFINE "GOOD" "BAD"
How can a negative become a positive. TK U MLJ LV NV
Weird!!
But a great read. Thanks for sharing.
Sad to say...
Thats a bullshit story. It could have had a better ending with more vengence and the complications of the new child born... but you never clarified if it was Franks child.
So she got smarter
and hubby got dumber. Still a shit of a story and not as good as some you write.
Good or bad.
But ALWAYS twisted! LOL
like i said
at the end of chapter one someone ask if she got away with it in chapter and yes she did there has to be more than one writer this story ending is not like the other cheating slut stories.
Like Iron Dragon said
always twisted, but this one with an ending. Lots of fun in many ways.
JPB Twists and Turns
Gotta luv those twists and turns that only JPB can pull off without breaking a sweat. Nice tale!
And JPB sticks another fork into the readers!
Cheaters all around, really unlikeable characters and then he stays with the slut? Just plain awful.
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