Really enjoyed the stories you have written, my only suggestion would be to find someone to proofread and edit your stories. You have a tremendous amount of talent!
by
Anonymous08/05/11
Good but,
Grammatical errors just make this hard to read,as the mistakes change what the intentional meaning of the sentence was.
I like it. Only wrongs I see are the aformentioned grammar errata and the time flow of the story. One moment it is breakfast time, then we are at the party and leaving said party. Not a mortal sin, just harder to follow.
by
Anonymous08/05/11
good but
the conversation at breakfast was hard to follow because it was hard to tell who was talking when.
also GET A GOOD EDITOR before posting anymore it is really hard to read a story filled with so many STUPID errors FEEL instead of FELL is just one of way to many examples both chapters need a total rewrite.
SHOW SOME PRIDE IN YOUR WORK AND A LOT OF RESPECT FOR THE READERS AND ALWAYS USE A GOOD EDITOR AND MAKE SURE IT IS DONE RIGHT OR DON'T DO IT AT ALL
by
Anonymous08/06/11
I was think it was a realy good story where is ch # 3 they go on to love each other & to get married & have a family to live happly for ever & ever.
by
Anonymous08/06/11
"AND MAKE SURE IT IS DONE RIGHT OR DON'T DO IT AT ALL" Come on, what's wrong with some of you people. Might as well say "Every story you write better be to my exact liking, or don't do it at all!" Because we all know every one on this site is forced to read every story posted by every author. If you don't like an author, just move along. At least some of the people who leave feedback know how to leave helpful criticism with out being douche bags. Alright, with that out of they way, back to the story. I would agree that it should be proof read, or checked over once again, but I guess I'm not such a Grammar Nazi that it kills the whole story for me. I enjoyed it, and I hope that there is more to follow. I, for one, would like to thank you for taking the time to write and share with the community.
English
Very enjoyable story
Really enjoyed the stories you have written, my only suggestion would be to find someone to proofread and edit your stories. You have a tremendous amount of talent!
Good but,
Grammatical errors just make this hard to read,as the mistakes change what the intentional meaning of the sentence was.
nice story
I like it. Only wrongs I see are the aformentioned grammar errata and the time flow of the story. One moment it is breakfast time, then we are at the party and leaving said party. Not a mortal sin, just harder to follow.
good but
the conversation at breakfast was hard to follow because it was hard to tell who was talking when.
also GET A GOOD EDITOR before posting anymore it is really hard to read a story filled with so many STUPID errors FEEL instead of FELL is just one of way to many examples both chapters need a total rewrite.
SHOW SOME PRIDE IN YOUR WORK AND A LOT OF RESPECT FOR THE READERS AND ALWAYS USE A GOOD EDITOR AND MAKE SURE IT IS DONE RIGHT OR DON'T DO IT AT ALL
I was think it was a realy good story where is ch # 3 they go on to love each other & to get married & have a family to live happly for ever & ever.
"AND MAKE SURE IT IS DONE RIGHT OR DON'T DO IT AT ALL" Come on, what's wrong with some of you people. Might as well say "Every story you write better be to my exact liking, or don't do it at all!" Because we all know every one on this site is forced to read every story posted by every author. If you don't like an author, just move along. At least some of the people who leave feedback know how to leave helpful criticism with out being douche bags. Alright, with that out of they way, back to the story. I would agree that it should be proof read, or checked over once again, but I guess I'm not such a Grammar Nazi that it kills the whole story for me. I enjoyed it, and I hope that there is more to follow. I, for one, would like to thank you for taking the time to write and share with the community.
This is A great story with the potential for a lot more chapters. Hopefully chapter 3 is on the way.
More
Thanks for a wonderful story. I liked the way you brought it all together from the past and they finally got to share their love for each other.
Keep Going
You've got a good start plenty of room to continue.A sneaky little wedding a pregnancy a little family drama could all unfold.
Nice and romantic
Good story all the way around. I can relate to it completely... Yes, me and step sister got married, two boys, and 11yr together.
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