it was a bit rushed. If you had slowed down and fleshed the caracters out more it really could have been very good. could have used more dialoge between marie and todd as well. But I do like your writting for the most part and look forward to your next post.
I always like the office fantasies. You did a really good job and I liked the way you described all the ways the secretary flirted with him, great build up.
You are one of the most skillful writers on this site. I note that you've posted only the two stories so far. They are both gems, by the way: small masterpieces. Your judgment of the reader's level of excitement as the story progresses, is masterful.
No doubt you will be tempted to write some longer stories, and if so I'll be interested to read them. But you do so well with short stories that I hope you won't abandon that genre.
At any rate, I hope you will keep writing because you do it so well, and we can certainly use more good writers.
by
Anonymous08/17/11
Rushed....of course!
To the commenter who said the story seemed rushed, it did. That was the point. The story was first person limited, thus only sharing portions of the story pertaining to the object, her boss. Further, the sex was animalistic and passionate. "Rushed" is an integral part of that dynamic.
GREAT story. Keep it up, dearest.
by
Anonymous06/30/12
Amazing
Ignore the comment titled "Almost," because this story is perfect. Whoever said it was flawless except the part where her legs go from the floor to his waist, people do move ;P It was written brilliantly, great grammar and story telling. As it picked up speed, I read more quickly. Very very impressive :) I like that you don't put any of the "I'm 5'2" and 36D" crap, because that always ticks me off. No one really starts their stories that way. That said, I can understand how some would want more description of looks for both characters, but I thought it was absolutely perfect the way it was.
English
almost
it was a bit rushed. If you had slowed down and fleshed the caracters out more it really could have been very good. could have used more dialoge between marie and todd as well. But I do like your writting for the most part and look forward to your next post.
Nice work!
I liked it! A bit improbable, perhaps, but definitely an erotic short piece. Write on!
Second efforts are appreciated
Other than legs going from on the floor in heels to wrapping around Todd's legs, flawless IMO.
Enjoyed it
I always like the office fantasies. You did a really good job and I liked the way you described all the ways the secretary flirted with him, great build up.
Just right!
You are one of the most skillful writers on this site. I note that you've posted only the two stories so far. They are both gems, by the way: small masterpieces. Your judgment of the reader's level of excitement as the story progresses, is masterful.
No doubt you will be tempted to write some longer stories, and if so I'll be interested to read them. But you do so well with short stories that I hope you won't abandon that genre.
At any rate, I hope you will keep writing because you do it so well, and we can certainly use more good writers.
Rushed....of course!
To the commenter who said the story seemed rushed, it did. That was the point. The story was first person limited, thus only sharing portions of the story pertaining to the object, her boss. Further, the sex was animalistic and passionate. "Rushed" is an integral part of that dynamic.
GREAT story. Keep it up, dearest.
Amazing
Ignore the comment titled "Almost," because this story is perfect. Whoever said it was flawless except the part where her legs go from the floor to his waist, people do move ;P It was written brilliantly, great grammar and story telling. As it picked up speed, I read more quickly. Very very impressive :) I like that you don't put any of the "I'm 5'2" and 36D" crap, because that always ticks me off. No one really starts their stories that way. That said, I can understand how some would want more description of looks for both characters, but I thought it was absolutely perfect the way it was.
Alright !
Nice little story you got there.
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