All Comments on 'Home Alone'

'Until I cummed'? should have been Until I came. You need an editor.

"I opened my blouse and pulled my tits over my bra..." ouch!!!

Nice short story, and I likes this style for the quick action, but the enjoyment was slightly diminished by a few spelling and phrasing mistakes.

Crouch is a position, crotch is the angle between limbs that he was probably touching. Get an editor so the content can be appreciated.

Agree with those before, you need an editor! Really puts me off when I have to work out what it says while I'm reading. Was a good story though

You have to get your thoughts in order. Dating for 3 years, suddenly alone, and all we get is that you're fucking on top of your bed? How about a little buildup, some emition, some character definition? Read the top-rated first-time stories here and get an idea of what I'm talking about. Practice, sure, upload your efforts here. We'll be watching, and hoping for the best.

awful.

Don t be discouraged. Read the editing info on the Submit stories page and keep practicing. Practice makes perfect.

Man, this sucked. You seem to need help building up characters and a storyline. Keep writing, but get a bit of help next time.

SERIOUSLY.

This is absolutely terrible writing.

I had my first when was 15, I was so attracted to an older boy across the street from my after school babysitting job. I was physically mature for my age with curvy hips, shapely tanned thighs and nice tits. I would purposely wear skimpy shorts and halter tops and invite him over to chat and ogle him. He could tell that I liked him, so one day when the kid I was sitting was napping, I made my move on him, and he orally pleasured my pussy, then slow-fucked me with his big thick pleasure penis, making me orgasm again! He held back his climax until I was thoroughly pleasures, then pulled out and jacked his big dick cum all over my tits, belly and pussy bush. We would have many more trysts like this for the next couple of years.