All Comments on 'Leaking Love'

About 2/3 of the way down the first page you changed from 3rd person - "his cock did this" and "his mom did that" - to first person - "I was sitting at my computer".

Try not to do things like that. Very disconcerting to the reader.

Why not make her a ZZZ cup while you are at it? Do you know that a DD is a pretty big boob? No need to go larger.

To anon below: yes F-cups do exist. I know this for a fact because my wife was a 34F before she had breast reduction surgery a few years ago. To be honest, they were kind of a pain in the ass. A bitch to buy bras for (usually had to mail order), and they were so heavy they gave her back pain. Much nicer since the surgery.

Please keep writing and continue, loved it and hope he gets the sister pregnant too. It would probably be a good idea for them to move elsewhere like a private place out side the city or in another state. I love incest romance this one is very exciting. At least you can contact me if you want. Great story and thanks.

As soon as you said F cup I quit reading. Boobs so big the woman couldn't even stand up is a turn off

F-Cups? Really? If you've bothered to read the feedback on that, you know what I have to say on that topic.

SIX CUPS of precum a day. Really? Six cups. SIX cups a day. Six CUPS a DAY!? Yeah, whatever.

No, I can't avoid going back to the F-Cups thing. And the "slim" sister with Double D's. You're clearly writing about CARTOONS. Big Tits mean Big Asses. Little Asses mean Little Tits. I don't make the rules. Blame God.

Pick a tense and stay with it. Jesus Christ, I hate bad writers.

You have potential and a lot of good ideas. Try to stay a bit more realistic. Many son's need help and mom will do it in right circumstance.

But you need an editor.

Get Mom & Sis some breast reductions; change your Mom's endearment term for you from "sweaty" to "sweety"; do some research & explain to all of us the location of the pre-ejaculate fluid production mechanism; submit the explanation to the major/prominent medical journals.

The story is really excellent. It's compelling and the sex is very enjoyable. However, you switched from the first person ("I did this") to the third person ("Kevin did this") and back again, and that back-and-forth is distracting. There were a few typos, such as "sweaty" instead of "sweety", but those happen.

So just tighten it up, proofread your next story (and I hope that there IS a next story), and it'll be great!

With time you will get better. Thanks for sharing.

Nice, don't listen to these guys going on about the precum thing. I doubt even one of them is so much as a dentist much less an expert in genetic abnormalities, people are born all the time with them. Keep up the good work.

Hope you finish the story it was one of the best

I really enjoyed your story. It was hot, if not a bit unrealistic. But then the whole incest premise is also. Anyway, I wish you could send me a copy of this so I can edit it for you because there are so many grammatical errors that it almost ruins the story.

Take the word stare. You used a present a past tense version of the word but spellled it wrong every time. There is only one r in stared and staring. Also, you're is short for you are and your is a possesive word. So instead of saying "your leaking on me" it should say "you're leaking on me.

Great story otherwise. Keep it up

Here is my vote for a continuation of this story. I found the story interesting and enjoyable. I will agree that a bit of proof reading would not be a bad idea as would picking a tense and sticking with it. All in all, though, it was an enjoyable read.

5/5

You started out writing in the first person and then switched to writing in the third person. Very annoying.

"I love you so much sweaty," she says softly into my ear.

The boy can't help it if he sweats.

The story needs editing, but it's sill a good erotic storyline.

If he filled his mom's womb with his cum, chances are she is knocked up, or at least I hope so.

I would like to see what happens next.

Thanks for the read

I have three older sisters, sure wish I had his problem's.. lol

why do you write in the third person then the first person ? it is very distracting

Well done. Ignore the grammer nazis.

I don't care what your writing style is, the story is great! Keep writing.

The story was quite good.

Do take heed of we grammar nazis, or else you will tend to attract feedback on your spelling and grammatical errors rather than on your story.

Proof your work at least five times before submitting a piece. It makes all the difference.

F cups are fine by me.

This could definitely use a chapter 2.

Your story is fine. Not the hottest I read but an enjoyable one. You could write a second chapter because I think there is more to say about this family.

I am not a grammar nazi (it's not a novel) but the fact that you switch between the first and the third person is disturbing. On time is "I" with the son, another is "I" with the mom and another is "he" and "she". It's confusing and a error you can easily fix.

I would like to see a chapter 2 in the near future. Great story that definitely could use a sequel.

Your a great author, fantastic story, can you do a chapter 2? and a little more of the sister

Great story.

You should decide if u want to tell the story in the first person or the third person.

When you went back and forth between "I" and "he".

Felt a bit rushed for my taste; otherwise, I enjoyed the premise of the story. Others have mentioned enough about the narrative mode issues; pick first or third, stop mixing usage. An editor would help clean up some of the other minor errors like punctuation, grammar, and misspells.

I'm admittedly a boob guy, so the sizes didn't bother me as much as other readers have voiced, but they did stretch what I consider believable (even for erotic fiction). There are a handful of girls in the adult biz with slender/busty figures (Holly Michaels, Marry Queen, April O'Neil, Whitney Westgate, etc.) who could have served as inspiration for Shyla. Additionally there are some Czech and UK glamour models sporting natural E, F, and even G-cups. Turning these gals into believable girl-next-door types, though, is a little harder to fathom. Hell, Delilah's description pins her with the figure of Denise Milani. I would have found this story far more believable had Kevin's father bought his wife silicone puppies, got bored with her, then moved onto a woman with a bigger pair. This is not my story though, so I digress.

It's been a little while since you posted anything new, but I hope you keep writing. With a little hard work and a willing editor you could likely pull in some red 'H' badges.

I suspect this author is having us on. When I saw this spelling error a chuckled out loud: "Slowly but surly Kevin's penis began to swell." But I nearly pissed myself when I read this: "Kevin's cock smelled strongly of penis, but she thought it was not unpleasant." I'm not making fun of you, pal. You have a gift, just not the one you thought you had. You are a brilliant humorist in the Norm Crosby mold. Thank you. I needed that laugh.

I like it when intercourse happens by accident.

You can continue with part two when the sister caught them having intercourse again and ended up having intercourse together.

Nice fantasy. But you have two issues. One, spend a little more time on the emotional aspects. The taboo. That's what's so hot. Two, you keep switching from first person to third person. If you do that there need to be a designated break. otherwise I get Con fused in my head. I would generally work up much slower. There are a lot of taboos being broken at once, especially with the sister. both the sister and the brother would have to overcome emotional barriers.

Superb. A different and interesting way (leaking pre cum) to get son together sexually with the mother and then his sister. I love the breast size but would suggest that if they do have such large breasts that you spend more time writing about the breasts and making them a bigger (pun intended) part of your story.

Keep up the great writing.

Obviously this is unrealistic as hell but once you read six cups of pre-cum that was obvious xD the whole unrealistic element actually made it hotter and I really hope someone a second chapter is released.

*Side note*

Stfu F cups are not too big to move!! Who's even complaining that they're too big it's a written story, just change them to whatever size you want in you head

Compliments to the author!! 10/10!!

Make up your mind already. Lame.

You keep on switching between first person to third person perspectives in the story. It became jarring very quickly between the perspectives changes.

Then we come to the unrealistic size of the breast in this story. Have you ever seen breast that huge in real life besides the porn sites?

I believe the breast size my mom has natural size g tits. You need to work on spelling and grammar but that's it. The changes in perspective were welcoming and I'd like to read more of this story. It was good and it be cool if you continued it

I enjoyed this story and would have liked to know if he kept playing with his mom and sis and if either or both of them were knocked up. Be nice to them loving each other and making some babies.

DUMPED at F tits. NOT into cow stories

.,.as with others 3rd person or 1st person?

Found that worrisome and certainly detracts.

A number of typos, which became annoying.

As for the size of tits...the enjoyment of the joys of sex, were marred significantly by the total discomfort the mother must have had to endure.

Sorry, but I found more to not like, than what I did like.

Change it and polish the story (together with a lot more descriptive language and you'll have a competition winner (if you also slow down with more depth).

😊😊🙏🙏🙏😊😊

Sweaty? Lol go back to school

dumb

???? No ending????

Story line (plot) good but totally spoiled by author who either didn't go to school to learn spelling, grammar, difference between 1st & 3rd parties, etc, or is just to lazy to proof read & edit before submitting to Literotica

She became pregnant from.her son

Please, please, please get an editor or a proofreader! You continually changed from first person to third person! The spelling mistakes are too many to list but I think my favorite was "curly blood hair". lol The sex was hot but the mistakes made it a mess.