Unfortunately your grammar let you down and got worse as the story progressed. You repeatedly used 'of' instead of 'off' plus 'cloths' instead of 'clothes' and also added words that should not have been included.
Find someone to edit your stories before you send them and I am sure it will help.
of something like this happening, but I agree with the first comment, it was kind of hard to get into it with the grammar mistakes, however, I do look forward to more. :)
by
Anonymous08/23/11
pleasured
I liked the idea of someone being restrained and forced to do something that they can't control. But in a way they want it done. The story line is good. So keep the dares/ position coming.
I LOVE lesbian slave girl stories - hottest scenes are those in which the slave girl is naked while her owners are clothed...so thanks, very hot. (A minor comment only: the few typos are distracting, please use spellcheck)! Above all, write more!
by
Anonymous01/27/13
A great start.
A good start to blackmail and control. Keep up the writing. Thanks.
English
Grammar & editing.
Unfortunately your grammar let you down and got worse as the story progressed. You repeatedly used 'of' instead of 'off' plus 'cloths' instead of 'clothes' and also added words that should not have been included.
Find someone to edit your stories before you send them and I am sure it will help.
I like the idea...
of something like this happening, but I agree with the first comment, it was kind of hard to get into it with the grammar mistakes, however, I do look forward to more. :)
pleasured
I liked the idea of someone being restrained and forced to do something that they can't control. But in a way they want it done. The story line is good. So keep the dares/ position coming.
Love this theme!
I LOVE lesbian slave girl stories - hottest scenes are those in which the slave girl is naked while her owners are clothed...so thanks, very hot. (A minor comment only: the few typos are distracting, please use spellcheck)! Above all, write more!
A great start.
A good start to blackmail and control. Keep up the writing. Thanks.
cloths
Spell check: clothes
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