but if you fleshed it out more it could be more fun. I see that you are new so that probably explains it, but this story could have been easily two pages long. Describe more thoroughly the seductions, the feelings one might have before, during, and after sex. It was a great story and I will definitely read more; by the way, where is the chapter 2 of Obsession?
@Dreammaker I agree with you that the story could be longer. When I was writing it, seemed like it would never end. I could have added more detail for the seductions. I do need to work on that. My second chapter for Obsession has been posted. :)
Talk about summer fun, your story was hot like fire. Keep up the good work.
GREAT story!!
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English
Great Story..
but if you fleshed it out more it could be more fun.
I see that you are new so that probably explains it, but this story could have been easily two pages long.
Describe more thoroughly the seductions, the feelings one might have before, during, and after sex.
It was a great story and I will definitely read more; by the way, where is the chapter 2 of Obsession?
Thanks for the comment.
@Dreammaker
I agree with you that the story could be longer. When I was writing it, seemed like it would never end. I could have added more detail for the seductions. I do need to work on that.
My second chapter for Obsession has been posted. :)
Passion on fire!
Talk about summer fun, your story was hot like fire. Keep up the good work.
I like alot
GREAT story!!
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to End of Summer Fun or
More submissions by NeverWinterNite.