All Comments on 'Josh's Journal Ch. 04'

I love this. Please continue, you wonderful, wonderful person! I've commented on every chapter about how much I love this. I can't believe you stopped it just after the good bit. I love this story so much. Please keep going! xxx

Please Kitten don't listen to the negative comments, just take your time and tell your story exactly how you want to. I'm loving Josh's voice which is funny and poignant at the same time.

I love the way you are timing the posting of this very interesting and well written tale. Just the proper interval to keep our interest.

gilmore girls! anyone?

Ah! I love it! Its totally what someone at that age would go through and its written a lot like what someone that age would write it like.

I liked this chapter best b/c you picked up the pace a bit which made it more exciting. I am not sure if it was the pace or maybe more action. I was frustrated that he got back with a girl that tried to get pregnant by putting holes in a condom. It did seem a bit off that he'd accept it b/c he seems pretty wise to a girl like that and does put weight on more that how hot she is. He's not the 'stereotypical' jock who is all brawn and no brains (no i don't think jocks are all like that).

Anyhow, the only thing I think you should have gone a bit slower was the last part. I think you should have put a bit more into the 'his boxers were showing' paragraph. I'd have liked to see something describing what he saw in that glimpse like maybe about his hair 'that he'd pictured against his skin' and the color of it and how light reflected off it from a light or just what he saw that made him reach out to him and kiss him. Then after, I thought it would have been more realistic for him to be thinking what have I done? Why did I kiss him? Maybe add some mixed feelngs he has about it. Talking about conflict like 'getting off to some porn is different than kissing someone.' But it's Ayden and I know what he lives with and I feel badly for him.' He'd probably have some version of this kind of back and forth in his mind. I also think after he'd have been a bit more thrown off than just not talking to Chelsea. He was still wondering if dreams were normal or not when they were of another guy. Kissing Ayden would have been a bigger thing to him. So, in short, I think you could have gone deeper into Josh's feelings and reactions to Ayden at the game.

Other than that I think it was a great job. The pace was great along with the content and the way he worked things out in his mind. It seemed to come across the way a guy would think more than a girl (though we'd need a guy to say that for sure :) Keep up the writing!!!

I haven't read this installment yet but I felt compelled to say that I can't believe someone would call u a bitch. All the stories on this site are optional reading and if u don't like it, move on. God! There are what a billion other stories on this site? Anyway I think ur phenom!

your dragging this out a bit..

Dinkyboots always has a fucking comment. Nothing wrong with this story. It fits the point of view that was established from the get-go, and fits it well.

dinkyboots don't have any stories posted (4 that matter neither do i ) but dinly always has something to say about other peoples stories and it usually trashes the writer. let's see dinky post a story...

but best of all just ignore it....

Deamon-Child

my seal, the eclipse...

"...I'm about to Google if it's normal." Josh's observations and introspections are really honest & funny. love his character; totally believable for a slightly off-kilter high school "jock"!

IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THEM TO DO THAT

SURPRISED .? YOU SHOULD BE . I CANT BELIEVE I AM STILL READING THIS EITHER.?

I know the author is long gone, but good god this is slow. How long does it take to decide to volunteer at a food shelf? And why did we need to hear about his indecision- about everything? He needed to grow a pair.

Anon 5 years ago,

Imagine trying to act smart and failing hard at it. It's a JOURNAL. Of course he would write stuff like being indecisive about it, what do you expect?

Sorry that everyone can't be "normal" and "grow a pair" like your nonexistent pair. Same with folks like the other anons and DinkyBoots with the useless criticisms.