by Lexinatrix
I can't wait to read the next chapter!!!!! I'm excited. You're an excellent writer.
I'm excited to read more. Hopefully there will be more... Hopefully soon! This story is wonderfully written. I adore it!
A story that commenced with such promise has become a farce. Poor punctuation, spelling and missuse of words. On reading that both slaves 'stilled' I stopped reading ... there is no such word and beyond that it breaks up the reading of the story. I suggest you use a good Thesaurus to find the correct words to use ... this may also make your writing more creative because you can find words that are not commonly used. It is called 'creative writing'. One Star is all I could find to give this work.
This is brilliant. Im not one for pain but the tit for tat game is wonderful. I would love to play...(in sarahs position of course) very well done :)
I dont know why that other guy is such a knob, stilled is a word, meaning became still, the grammar is fine and I very much enjoyed the story. I'd love to read more of your work.
I loved the tit for tat game, and I would love to be in it, but I think I would like Ruth's position. Pain turns me on...
Loved the stories. Wouldn't mind hearing more about Lady Miriam and her slaves. And maybe another tit for tat game. Maybe have Lady Miriam take a virgin or a male.
Would never want this to happen to anyone without their consent, but it was a good read in a fictional story.
Whatever people are saying was wrong with the punctuation, you clearly fixed it. The only thing I see is the *[]* to denote thoughts, which I usually just italicize, but I saw nothing wrong with it.
Also, to the above poster, "Stilled" is a word. It's the past participle of "still." Look this stuff up before commenting.
I'm a big fan of your stories. I hope you continue. Thanks for writing and sharing with all of us!
Too sadistic for my taste, as much as I enjoy BDSM. Besides I never liked false moralisation, when torturers trying to blame the victim for their actions, only fool would buy it anyway. Also bad ending was quite predictable.
This was an awesome story. Not only was it extremely erotic, I really liked the build up of the story. Would be nice to read other stories set in this world.
Only can agree with this one:
"Too sadistic for my taste, as much as I enjoy BDSM. Besides I never liked false moralisation, when torturers trying to blame the victim for their actions, only fool would buy it anyway. Also bad ending was quite predictable."
With us not knowing if Ruth enjoys the pain it's really too sick for my taste. A sick game. Never want anyone to experience this.
Dear Lexinatrix,
I would like to break the chain, seeing that so far only anonymous comments have been published here. I like the mind games you describe. And the narrative is pleasant to read, so thank you.