Your story has promise - at least, I think that enough to say so in the title of my reply - but your grammar, spelling and use of tense all combine to make it look more than a little shabby.
For example, "breathe" is the act of taking a "breath" and letting it out. "Sobbing gentle" is not physically possible, though "sobbing gently" is, because "gentle" is an adjective while "gently" is an adverb. Mixing past-tense and present tense (especially in the same sentence) is a no-no: with that in mind, you might have wanted to go with "I knew what she was going through, and not by experience, but by the ability to think through what her motives were and what her actions meant." Since you put your character's behavior in the past-tense with the word "knew", everything else had to conform with that in the sentence. Ideally, this is true for the entire story - pick a tense, go with that tense, and DON'T STRAY FROM THAT TENSE...unless you're dealing with a flashback sort of scenario or with back-story, in which case it's going to be explained as such and will be built into the tale you're writing.
These are, I admit, small things by themselves. Your story is a pretty good tale, and I'd be interested in reading more of what you write...but when you take all the little mistakes and gaffes as a whole, the work suffers, and that's not something I'm thinking you're looking to have happen. Literotica offers editors for any and all who want them, and it would be well worth your while to look into obtaining one.
English
Interesting story, but...
You desperately need an editor.
Your story has promise - at least, I think that enough to say so in the title of my reply - but your grammar, spelling and use of tense all combine to make it look more than a little shabby.
For example, "breathe" is the act of taking a "breath" and letting it out. "Sobbing gentle" is not physically possible, though "sobbing gently" is, because "gentle" is an adjective while "gently" is an adverb. Mixing past-tense and present tense (especially in the same sentence) is a no-no: with that in mind, you might have wanted to go with "I knew what she was going through, and not by experience, but by the ability to think through what her motives were and what her actions meant." Since you put your character's behavior in the past-tense with the word "knew", everything else had to conform with that in the sentence. Ideally, this is true for the entire story - pick a tense, go with that tense, and DON'T STRAY FROM THAT TENSE...unless you're dealing with a flashback sort of scenario or with back-story, in which case it's going to be explained as such and will be built into the tale you're writing.
These are, I admit, small things by themselves. Your story is a pretty good tale, and I'd be interested in reading more of what you write...but when you take all the little mistakes and gaffes as a whole, the work suffers, and that's not something I'm thinking you're looking to have happen. Literotica offers editors for any and all who want them, and it would be well worth your while to look into obtaining one.
Story is alright-ish
But not romantic.... Should be in the non-erotic section
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