Have you heard of spell checker and proof-reading ? I think you have a little talent but this story needs both so the read is smoother and enjoyable . Good luck on your next effort.
by
Anonymous09/06/11
Very real
You have the confidence to write realistic stories expressing true desires. Keep writing you have talent
Please remember; Anticipation is everything, with anal intimacy? Voted a 4!!
a commendable 1st effort. However the 'anal' eroticism was lacking! Needed virginal resistance, to initial penetration!
by
Anonymous10/29/11
Meh
The whole control thing was a bit much. Nothing was done for her pleasure, and were I in her place I would have found it demeaning and gotten a little bit angry.
by
Anonymous03/01/16
Dumbass
You can't use Vaseline for internal use you dip shit
English
I hope helpfully
Have you heard of spell checker and proof-reading ? I think you have a little talent but this story needs both so the read is smoother and enjoyable . Good luck on your next effort.
Very real
You have the confidence to write realistic stories expressing true desires. Keep writing you have talent
Please remember; Anticipation is everything, with anal intimacy? Voted a 4!!
a commendable 1st effort. However the 'anal' eroticism was lacking! Needed virginal resistance, to initial penetration!
Meh
The whole control thing was a bit much. Nothing was done for her pleasure, and were I in her place I would have found it demeaning and gotten a little bit angry.
Dumbass
You can't use Vaseline for internal use you dip shit
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