All Comments on 'Labor Day'

Love and caring make good stories.

"Give it to me. I've never had anyone come inside me. I want it."

How did she beome pregnant

To answer Anon. Good story thanks for the entertainment.

Good story now dont leave us hanging,please do another chapter.

A Good Read, I hope there is a follow up.

this is the first prego story i've read and I loved it. great characters, well written, nice detail in the setup, and hot, believable sex. as you can guess from my screen name, I was secretly hoping she'd lose control of her bladder though! great job...write more!

Thanks to everyone for the comments. I'm probably going to expand the sex and spice up the ending of this one a little eventually. I wanted to get it in for the contest, so I didn't have time to do my second tweak. If you enjoyed it, check back the next time you peek in on my page. The edited version just might be up.

Mike is right. There's a big difference between a leaking condom leading to pregnancy and intentional internal ;)

I will grant that the line - in and of itself - gives more than adequate cause to go WTF?, though LOL

u sud have the sister come in and join :).great story btw

For someone with a weakness for pregnant women this story was fantastic. You are a good writer. In some ways the story was a little hurried and probably needs a little more character development but it was a 5 star as as far as I'm concerned.

"Give it to me. I've never had anyone come inside me. I want it."

How did she get pregnant?

Thank you.

Great job, more please!

Well written. The ending came across as a bit rushed, but overall great work.

HOW DID SHE GET PREGNANT IF NO ONE EVER CAME INSEDE HER?

See comment above.

However, I dutifully admit that I failed to adequately describe this little fetish within a fetish in the story, thus the responses are perfectly valid. Some got it, some probably didn't notice, and others were brought up short by what would seem to be a glaring error. Regardless of my intention, pulling a reader out of the story with something like that IS a glaring error - even if not the exact one being pointed out.

I'll do something about that in my edit later, after the contest is over. Reading back through, the sex really needs punched up, and the ending is weak as well. That's what happens when you skip the second read.

Thanks for all the comments. I do take note of criticism - sometimes even more than the praise ( but don't let that stop anyone from issuing praise! LOL )

maybe she never got soaked, but she definitely got sprayed. TK U MLJ LV NV

Great story, can't wait to see what happens next.

please continue

I've submitted an edited version of this story, trying to alleviate the WTF moment so many experienced LOL

The sex is also expanded, and the new ending is a lot stronger. If you liked it before, give the new version a read when it posts. My best guess is that it will be visible on the public side come Friday.

Just noticed that Lit also added several tags to what I originally submitted. I'm somewhat in disagreement with the adultery tag. Though it's technically right - as Marie is still legally married - the marriage is pretty much over when Rich has run off with some blonde bimbo.

I've never let anyone come in me before. What is she the virgin mary? She's nine months along. Other then that it was a good read

The sperm doner could have had a broken condom or it could have come off... It does happen. So technically, her statement could be accurate.

A very nice and HOT story. I'd like to see Zach and Marie do more after the baby is born; she wants to explore sex more and he'll raise her to new heights. Zach cares very much and they can have all kinds of encounters.

Thank thank you and write more chapters soon !!

Just read this story as a 9 months pregnant woman and it is HOT ! I love the descriptions of her body and his appreciation of her leaking nipples and full bush. Ta!

this is the most awesome story i have ever read! i too have a HUGE pregnancy fetish, i cannot wait to be pregnant! make a chapter 2...maybe do a detailed orgasmic home birth....look it up, it can happen! and for a real kicker...maybe have some girl on girl with Sam and Maria! ohhh im gettin' all tingly! keep up the good work!

What a nice and HOT story !! I think there are many more chapters to be written, now that Marie wants Zach; they should after the baby is born continue to explore each others body and needs. I think Marie would like to experience Zach being better equipped than his jerk of a brother. Please write again very soon as this is ready to evolve to the next level. Very arousing. Thank you.

Great story intertwining romance and eroticism. Thanks for reaching out to a new theme and thanks for sharing with us.

"The girl was hot and sending enticing aromas floating throughout the neighborhood."

A very sweet story. Maybe his brother will get killed some way and she will get his insurance. One can always hope. Thank you for writing.

this story defies the usual categories, it's nicely written, hot sex, with good characters, who love each other-fun for follow-up chapters-thanks

You should REALLY expand some of your stories into multi chapter versions.

As readers we would like to know what happened to them in the future.

Zack & Marie could get together & raise the baby.

You have the imagination to tell the story to this point so I'm sure you have the imagination to expand & continue the story.

But this story was lost in the Fetish category. Almost any other would have gotten it more hits. Sex with a gorgeous pregnant woman isn't a fetish, it is absolutely normal.

Definitely a 5!

I definitely agree with the last three comments. You should really consider expanding some of your stories into continuing chapters. Readers do enjoy a longer erotic read, especially when the content is well written; as yours is.

Would have like for you to continue the series!

It's rare in this venue that the good guy wins. Of course, if you expanded this premise into a novel length, that could probably would change, but hopefully it would still end the same way, everybody happy. Thanks for writing.

a wonderful story, well written and a true pleasure to read!

Wow. I couldn't have written my own fantasy any better.

5*

Great Story. Thanks.

I really enjoyed this story. Thank you for writing it, and thank you for sharing.

Nice little happy tale/(tail?). Enjoyed this one.

Might have to officially change my favorite holiday, this was hot as can be.

Loved it.

Great story and a welcome change from the husband/wife revenge dramas.

5*****

Verrrry good story. Pregnancy brings out some of the best of a woman.

Lovely premise.

Nice setup. But the sex, when it happened, mved along much to fast, glossing over too many details.

Not enough detialis about her breasts. How big were they? Nipples? Large? Small? Color? No dialog about how she felt about them being so swollen. Or how sensitive they were. Or whether he liked them. Had he ever thought about them before? What did he imagine? Did he think about her when he jerked off? What did he imagine? What image was it that made him cum? And so much more.

Four stars.

"I've never had anyone come inside me without a rubber." Says the incredibly pregnant woman, just a few minutes away from going into labor. That seems *extremely* likely to be a lie, does it not? Or was this some sort of immaculate conception from his brother?

What about a followup story

Next chapter, please!

I can't think of a better chapter 1 for a book, than this one.

Thanks for the great story. A well-deserved ' 5 '. Condoms are not 100% reliable or her husband may have removed it one day without her knowledge, ?.